I need to add to my earlier post. Let me hasten to add, it’s nothing specific you all have said, just a set of feeling and thoughts I’ve had since I wrote this morning. Probably unthinkable and unfeelable until I got that first part out of the way.
I am not saying that a marriage without children has no meaning.
I am not saying there there is no virtue in trying, and hanging in there, and persevering.
I am certainly not saying that Kim Kardashian has it right.
I am not saying that if you’ve promised to care for someone and you break your promise it’s a good thing.
I am not saying shame should not be felt over infidelity, abuse, neglect, misuse, deceit, denial.
I am only saying that when it’s all over, if there are children, more attention should be paid to their well-being than anything else, including shame. That society might want to scaffold the process a bit more carefully. And if I am truthful, I am saying all this now and wishing I could have said it 35 years ago, and 25 years ago, and 20 and 15 and 10 years ago. But I didn’t know.
And now, maybe, I can say I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and I do apologize for having dug up sorrow in the deconstruction.