There’s no indirect way to put this. Can middle-aged ladies wear biker jackets? And to be precise, what about a middle-aged heterosexual woman who has never come close to driving a bike herself?
Tish Jett, over on A Femme d’un Certain Age, captioned the above photo, “When chicken get teeth (that’s when I would wear this jacket).” Her commenters almost to a woman agreed. I was surprised, as I had hypothesized that I might rather go biker than hang out with fanged poultry. A shopping expedition with Audi of Fashion for Nerds confirmed.
I wore this outfit to work. On Tuesday, to be precise. And enjoyed myself enormously.
One might ask, how does one get to Biker from Quiet? Simple. High WASP Dress Code Tenet #1: Dress Appropriately. Yes, really. The dress code at my workplace is Don’t Wear Tattoos On Your Face. Everything else goes. In fact, tattoos on your face might be just fine, we simply haven’t got anyone on the team who has made that choice. Yet.
(And I can’t lie to you. Everyone’s got and aspirational persona and mine is tough and brave and laughs on the street and thinks, “Well yeah,” when someone calls her bad-a**.)
So one might also ask, how does a middle-aged High WASP lady make an aspirational biker jacket her own? The Grande Dame drapes it over her Alaia Little Black Dress. An Artsy Cousin will do as she pleases, which may involve a cotton gauze maxi-skirt. However, all Archetypes rely on one secret weapon.
Pearls, of course.
I added saturated crimson lipstick to situate the needle where I want it on the masculine-feminine gauge. Also to prevent my face from disappearing altogether amongst shoulder-quilting, distressed leather, and zipper-strings. The messy hair, well, so as not to try too hard.
Sturdy Gals, being monobagamous and lovers of convenience, will come close to ruining said bad-a** effect with a sedate cross-body. Here, by Bottega Veneta. If I wear it hanging on the back of my hip it looks less sedate but then you couldn’t see it, now could you? Sturdies are nothing if not pragmatic and helpful by intent.
So we make Very Tough Faces to compensate. Add a sneer for good measure.
Rock on, Wild Ones.