Privilege Blog

Charitable Has To Be Good, Or, Saturday Morning at 7:49am

Today once again I will be heading inland to help inform voters in a California congressional district. I confess to a fairly bossy tone informing people of this, over on Twitter.

Someone replied to my tweet, saying they would be volunteering, to a different end. This was someone I imagine has different political values than I, but also someone I know to be courteous, friendly, responsive. So I answered, “Excellent. I think as long as we are volunteering with charitable feelings in our hearts, it can’t help but be a good thing.”

It was a quick statement, made – I confess again – more to communicate that I had not meant to offend, that I was drawing no line in any sand, than from any beautiful model of virtue.

But this morning, I think maybe I couldn’t have done any better?

I am guessing that no matter what side of America’s current political divide you occupy you see the size of the gap in our country’s expressed values. We are split, and the further apart we get the more we voice anger and even hatred about the other.

I doubt this is binary, that all good people are here, none there. It’s probably too complicated being human for that kind of simple black and white. At the same time I yearn, actually yearn, for a leader who could speak to concerns so universal that we’d come back together.

And I truly, madly, deeply wish that we were all speaking in a more kindly way to each other.

So I wonder if acting upon charitable feelings might serve as a unifying idea, for some future leader. Before we could act on charitable feelings we’d have to have them, of course. But I’m guessing many people, when reminded, do want to be or at least to feel themselves to be charitable, and might respond, if someone would just set a tone.

I am perhaps too optimistic. But when I looked up the definition of “charitable,” just now, to make sure I wasn’t prattling on with more than usual abandon, the words gave me some peace.

char·i·ta·ble
ˈCHerədəb(ə)l/Submit
adjective
1.
relating to the assistance of those in need.
“charitable works such as care of the sick”
synonyms: philanthropic, humanitarian, altruistic, benevolent, public-spirited; More
2.
apt to judge others leniently or favorably.
“those who were less charitable called for his resignation”
synonyms: magnanimous, generous, liberal, tolerant, easygoing, broad-minded, considerate, sympathetic, lenient, indulgent, forgiving, kind
“he was charitable in his judgments”

Of course this wouldn’t be enough. Wanting to do right by others and take a less-judgmental stance gets incredibly difficult to turn into actions once you butt up against many-layered problems like national borders and abortion, or deeply held beliefs around the meaning of “family,” for example.

But I do think there might be value in a gut check. At the very least, before I voice an opinion, I would like to know that I am motivated by charitable feelings, not just my own petty urges. I wonder if I review my opinions through a filter of charity, what, if anything, might change.We can get to policy implementations later.

I will of course also feel rage, fear, sorrow, and a sheer desire to swat the ignorant and the arrogant. Humans do.

I doubt I’ll be discussing this with inland California voters. Thanks for listening. Have a wonderful weekend.

15 Responses

  1. I am going to copy your words, “Before I voice an opinion, I would like to know that I am motivated by charitable feelings, not just my own petty urges,” to keep on my desktop (real, not virtual), to see if I can possibly internalize them. A tall order, for me at least. Especially now. I think that remembering to breathe might help.

    1. @marsha calhoun, It’s a tall order for me too, one that requires time, but, these days I am pretty much the boss of my own time. I understand that many are not.

  2. Good work, Lisa. Granted some people are more eloquent than others when expressing themselves. Entering the fray of ‘opposing’ views can be a challenge (even nasty). “Yes,” it would be great to be a more unified nation.

    1. @Susan, Thank you. And yes, some are more eloquent than others but, if we listen of the feelings everyone has, I should say, if we COULD listen, I think eloquence or volume would matter less.

  3. I think the division has been going on for many years, not just since the current president has been in office. I have found, among my friends who see things differently than I, that often the judgment regarding others motives and thinking very much gives me the feeling that they think they are correct and of course this is how everyone with a clear head sees things. And they are aghast that there is a different side to the argument. There are honorable and well motivated people on all sides of an argument. Unfortunately we back into our corners and throw stones at the other side rather than give the benefit of the doubt and really listen. We could have more common ground than we originally think.

    1. @Jeannine, Yes, I agree, all sorts of people think they are correct and that their opinion is the the only one possible.

      I hope we have more common ground than we think, my issue with current leadership (beyond the policies themselves) is that the way of speaking seems designed to blow up all possible commonalities. And that, I am pretty sure, is specific to this leadership:(.

  4. I am largely silent with my political views feeling it is not a good idea to express oneself.

    “Alternative facts”, “fake news”, intrusion into our elections, the treatment of James Comey, certain civil rights abuses, relaxation of environmental regulation are terribly upsetting.

    I tried over a period of months to lift up a poor woman. I can honestly say it was probably a failed en devour. Do the Republicans know something I don’t?
    I am watching the world closely and hoping for a change at the top.

    Luci

    1. @luci, I too am watching the world closely, I simply try not to despair and hope that doing as much as I can with the resources Iat my disposal.

  5. Sending good wishes for your efforts along with several spare cheeks, as I’m certain that you’ll have to “turn the other cheek “ more often than you may wish. During a 33-year teaching career, I know the tone of my class and the interactions of the students were mostly a reflection of my own tone and the model I set, and similarly, the same occurred in others’ classrooms, too, for tolerance and/or for less. I’m afraid our current leader has set a tone that gives the ok to less tolerant behavior in his “students”. I’m less inclined to be charitable when listening to those in the “red”.

    1. @Missi Baker, It was a quiet day. I will work on charitable, I imagine you are in fact quite charitable given your tone here, but I agree, the tone is set at the top.

  6. Politics these days can be so polarizing and divisive. I’ve learned the hard way to be circumspect about voicing my opinions until I know the lay of the land so to speak. When we lived in Fresno, a largely Republican stronghold in an otherwise blue state ,conversations could be heated if generally civil. Now that we are back in Boston, I feel more comfortable expressing my political concerns (and yes, rants as well!).

    However, I do think it is important we all remain politically engaged whatever the party affiliation. Indifference, disengagement and not voting at all can open the door to unwanted consequences.

  7. Lisa, I know you are doing many things to make living in the United States a better place.

    It is easy to despair of some of the changes we see.

    I am setting personal environmental goals as a way of coping with what I see as deregulation.

    Although I do not say much I am trying to let small changes begin with me.
    I appreciate all of your efforts on behalf of our beloved country.

    Luci

  8. Just yesterday our minister mentioned so called Christians who spend their time gazing at their navels rather than help their fellow citizens. Our church, under the direction of this minister, volunteers at the local food bank and provides clothing and toiletries as well as food for the homeless. One of the self righteous, the mother in law of a friend, told her grandson that the homeless liked to be homeless. “No they don’t Grandma,” said the grandson. He works at a clinic serving the homeless.

  9. Ladies,
    I do see the need to be fair and listen to everyone’s viewpoint (and be charitable) but there are things we need to fundamentally agree upon and it seems the basic values have changed over time. From an economic standpoint we cannot afford to be “charitable” to anyone coming here- we need borders. That was a given before, now it is an argument? That is a problem and a huge change.
    Spying on American citizens is always unconstitutional and wrong. There is no gray area here. Comey, Brennan and Klapper seem to have let Trump hatred justify wrongdoing. It is always wrong. That was a given before, now an argument? I am very disappointed that our basic values are not being fortified but instead being diluted just because Trump is a divisive person. Our country, our constitution is bigger than Trump. There are many things we must analyze without the glare of Trump ignorer to preserve what is right for the future. There will be other leaders. The country will be fine only if we can remember our fundamental beliefs and stick to them. P.S. For you Californians, It is wrong to let known criminals roam free in your cities when you can do something about it to protect people. It is just wrong. Your being “charitable” does not include putting others at risk. Think of the greater good and be fair. We used to use “the greater good” as a sort of measuring stick. Back to fundamentals, please!

  10. As I read the comments, one issue stands out to me. The world today is complex, far more complex that it has been in the past. Take immigration — we want immigrants to do the jobs no one else wants (picking blackberries, cleaning floors,etc.) and for their special skills (e.g. scientists, professors, etc.) and this has been true throughout our history. Economists agree that immigrants are a net plus for our economy.

    But we also need to realize that today’s better communication and ease of travel can induce bad elements in our society such as drug dealers and human traffickers to bring people to the US that we don’t want. There is no simple solution to this, and it’s hard to develop an effective policy when the rhetoric is so harsh.

    In any complex issue there are always gray areas and without thoughtful debate that recognizes that different values are at play we will not make any progress. To me, that’s where your charitable thoughts come in.

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