Privilege Blog

Authentic Self In The Era Of Online Identity, Or, Saturday Morning at 11:53am

I’ve been thinking lately about society shifting, as our online selves proliferate. It’s possible the change may startle my age group most of all.

Early in our generation’s lifetime, the only bits identifying us were our address, and phone number. We were publicly findable, but not known. In those days, if you lived by the code of staying out of the newspapers except at birth, marriage, and death, the rest of your identity stayed right there with you all the time. “Where am I?” one might ask. “Right here,” was always the answer. Photographs lived in boxes, personal musings in notebooks.

But now, right when the urgings of midlife may tell us to settle down, to integrate any separate selves developed across multiple roles – the world is blowing up in an explosion of identity.

I don’t know how involved you all are, online. And I am not encouraging anyone to participate if they don’t want to. Societies function in multiple streams, many things are true at the same time. But where I sit, I experience a shift in how it feels to be a person.

I first stepped into online communities when my daughter applied to college, on a forum called College Confidential. I began as many do, wholly anonymous, divulging all sort of feelings without any identifying information. I was only what I wrote, no profile, no links. Two and a half years later, I began this blog. Again, at first, anonymous, but eventually stepping forward with my name. Identified as me.

Now I’m to be found many “places.” I use the quotation marks advisedly, for the word “place” is shifting too. I’m here as Lisa, on other blogs commenting as Lisa, or LPC, on Twitter as @AmidPrivilege, Tumblr and Polyvore as AmidPrivilege,Flickr as skyepeale, Facebook as myself, and so on. The other day someone asked me to join Pinterest. Starts to feel rather like a hall of mirrors.

Thing is, I don’t just mean “found,” as in others can find me. I mean as in I find my self. I know from my User Experience days that we orient ourselves very thoroughly to effective software environments. The more we use them, the more we internalize their functions and express their outcomes as our own. With one, or limited software homes, one can feel, “I am primarily Me, but here is me on Microsoft Office. And over here is that same me, on Facebook.” Once we start participating in multiple environments,  the me’s-on-twitter me’s-on-Polyvore me’s on Google + begin to influence Me in ways we cannot predict or control.

There must be scholarly articles examining this, somewhere.

This week I had lunch with two people I’ve gotten to know via blogging. I had always expected that meeting people in real life might feel like “Aha! My real self revealed.” But I found that writing, here, for you all, has altered my inner and therefore real voice. Me. That’s OK. I welcome the change and experience it as evolution.

Why? As a young woman, I was prone to blurting. Does anyone remember the original tagline for Privilege? “A High WASP Stops To Consider?” Augmenting talk with text-based, time-lagged communications allows one to merge one’s blurted self into one’s considered self. And the other way around. Evolution.

Who knows where this is going? Not I. Our children have had their online selves so long that they have gone beyond self-disclosure and self-examination, now leveraging the multiplicity inherent in online life to build ironic self-referential, inferred meta-identities. Yeah, that’s a lot of big words. I don’t know how else to say it. Go look at Reddit, for a taste. Penelope Trunk writes that Generation Y spends a lot of time managing their images. As well they might.

I figure the impact of the Internet will play out over time. That’s how it happens. Take the Era of the Internal Combustion Engine. One day a motor, the next an auto, then the suburb, the shopping mall, and a mother at home with children driving her quietly or not so quietly crazy. Things change. Was the next significant shift the Era of Rights? Could we theorize that perhaps television and other mass communication platforms allowed for the Era of Rights, Civil, Women’s and Gay?  Things change.

Maybe right now we’re seeing the Era of Self. Perhaps the many places for personae will challenge us to grow our selves via creative platforms all the while managing those selves more closely and more carefully.

Each of these big shifts have involved, if you think about it, how we access other people.

Um, hello.

50 Responses

  1. I completely understand what you’re saying. It’s funny – I met up with a group of Twitter friends last summer. They only knew me as Tippy. I thought maybe it would be weird when my Twitter persona mashed up against who I am in real life. Turns out, other than the Twitter handle name, I’m the same person. I’m the same person with my college friends as I am with my Twitter friends. I think we are indelibly who are we are, no matter the circumstance. I might be freer to say something on Twitter than I am to, say, my mom or aunts, but at the end of the day, I’m not altering my personality for my online persona.

    And I think I was the one who asked you about Pinterest. LOL. I can understand if it’s just one too many places to put yourself into the online world. I just thought the visual aspect of it would mesh so well with your blog. Or maybe it would be redundant.

    Cheers!

  2. It feels like we’re still at lunch talking about this!

    It’s really fascinating, and a little scary.

    I’m glad we met, online and in person, and look forward to knowing you better over time, online and in person.

  3. So interesting, so thoughtfully parsed. I’m currently trying to write a guest post for an academic blog I admire, something I’ve stalled on for over a year because I was troubled by integrating my various digital identities with my supposedly more scholarly self. And yes, I’ve been noticing how the various platforms inflect my personality or, at least, bring out different aspects of it. Twitter, Facebook, comments on other blogs, posts on my own . . . each format’s technology shapes the way I shape words, thoughts, vulnerabilities, assertions.
    Food for thought, and I thank you for it. Have a good weekend.

  4. Several years ago, I gave up being anonymous on the Internet. I decided that I wanted to be Louise Hornor wherever I went. Or at least Louise.

    It forces me to be civil and kind, for the most part. I think that is for the best, really. If and when old high school acquaintances or my nieces find me in the archives, I want them to think, “Yes, that’s her,” just as they would if they spotted me across the street. And I hope they will be just as glad to greet me there.

    But I am glad that this merge of virtual and corporeal Louise happened in middle age. I think it would have been much harder at 25.

  5. I read somewhere recently that most people naturally organize themselves by files or piles. By nature I am a “filer,” open the drawer and you’ll find copies of birth certificates, passports, seven years of tax returns, copies of report cards, important letters and so on. As I’ve tentatively added facebook, blogging, and pinterest to my life I’ve felt increasingly like a “piler,” which is–for me–somewhat out of control, although I like the interactions and the relationships (friendly and sympathetic acquaintances) that I’m making. I think “hall of mirrors” is an apt description, and, honestly, one that makes me question my participation.

  6. Interesting conversation. I’ve been online for almost 15 years now and I’ve never been “anonymous.” I figured early on that there was no way for anyone in the digital world to be truly anon. So I’ve presented myself just as I am. No image to manage.

    That being said, I have used two different names for myself along the way. The first one was very contrived and had meaning to only me– and gave me the courage to get involved online. But the one I use now, while a pseudonym, is a nickname that I’ve been known by for awhile, so I think of it as my own name as much as the one that is on my drivers license.

    Does that mean I’m not authentic online? I don’t think so. Are there two different versions of me? Not at all. I just feel more comfortable talking to the virtual world using my nickname, so I do.

  7. I am fascinated by this as well…and have pursued it because much of my teaching load is online and it seems important to at least be aware of what my students are doing. It is also interesting to me as a teacher of “rhetoric”, where I help my students learn to structure communications to various audiences. I use Facebook very little, as I have “friends” in multiple categories and very little of what I have to say there speaks to all. I also have a remnant of concern about privacy–and learning to manage this has been interesting as well. Ultimately, I think I have gained more than I have lost (actually, traded off might be the better expression) via my online identities.

    Also, we discuss identity in my American Literature class. What does it mean to be an American. Over the course of my lifetime, I have come to realize that it is an overlapping of various selves I am in various contexts. There is nary a context in which I am completely myself–except when I am alone.

  8. Lisa I grapple with these same sentiments as well; you know-trying not to divulge so much personal information. As many of my readers could infer there are very few captures of me on my blog that one could actually make out who I am and I like it that way. There is a barrier I wish to maintain in this era of information and omnipresent self. As an individual in their early twenties I am still building the self that you speak of. You are incredibly accomplished individual who has reached heights that my friends here at the university dream of attaining one day. A loyal follow for quite some time.

  9. I think you are right about entering an era of self, but what that may look like fills me with uncertainty. Becoming more focused on self would seem to open the doors to being more selfish (though not necessarily, I’m sure). I feel that we are living in an age that promotes both being self aware and selfishness – which seems ironic to me because both of these ideas are found & promoted in almost all of the advertising we are subjected to…are we being manipulated into selfishness? Too many thoughts swirling around…I hope that was somewhat coherent.

  10. I think it’s hardest when you’re young and exploring. Trying on faces. Having all those faces tied together as “you”, following you womb to tomb on Internet archives and google caches… That’s hard. I wish I could blot from existence some of the things I said so publicly, so tactlessly. People’s memories are kinder to an adolescent than the indelible memories of databases.

    These days I too am more “me”, where ever I go. I feel increasingly well integrated. But I still like having private spaces to talk, where my employers and my in-laws don’t go. Me, but my own private me. I feel a little bit beholden when I am in public. It is an interface, after all. The place where “me” meets “you”. I try to be a good citizen of our shared space. It’s still nice to have places to let my hair down a bit, be a little bit thoughtless or even crass. I would deeply regret it if those were phased out in favor of absolute transparency, integration, and memory, the way some people predict it will.

  11. I don’t know where all of this is going but I’m not optimistic. We used to be a society of creators. Are we now a society of people who are bloggers or commentors or facebook status updaters. How can we create when we spend so much energy managing our multiple identities?
    In addition, with online algorithms from Google, Netflix etc. programmed to predict what we are searching for and giving us a narrower group of options, are we too becomming narrower in our thinking?
    Just wondering.

  12. I enjoyed reading this. I never gave much thought… until now.

    I have two identities. I had three for a while but it seemed so confusing. For a long time I was Entertaining Mom because my blog was The Entertaining House. It was the handle I wanted for Twitter but alas was too long and any variation of Entertaining and “mom” had already been taken. I wanted something that would reflect who I am… something that would reflect my fun side, the side that doesn’t take myself too seriously. I was torn between CursingMommy or GimletMommy. I chose the latter! On my blog I just go by Jessica. But no matter what name I use I am myself… I am very much wysiwyg… I am an open book… I think this is evident on Facebook, Twitter and my blog.

    Town and Country Mom… I am a piler!

  13. I loved reading this! A lot of good stuff to think about (even though it is too late for me to have much in the way of coherent thoughts). The whole online-identity thing makes me think about the online-community thing (sorry for the thing-ing, like I said, it’s late. :) ) I read somewhere, the Atlantic perhaps? (I wish I had the citation) that far from primarily connecting us to people around the world, the internet has been a boon for more local community building. I’ve found this to be true, meeting up with APW ladies near me, etc.

    I wonder, would that kind of local building be possible if we weren’t, in some way, truly ‘ourselves’ online?

  14. I don’t write a blog, but I do read a few. I am active on Facebook and have a studio page showing my art, and that of others. I have some “online” relationships through these venues, but I’m not sure I’d actually want to meet any of them in person. I feel that whatever the relationship we’ve formed through the internet, should stay that way. It’s a different way of relating, and I’m not sure about changing that.

  15. Lots of food for thought here. I’ve considered for some time the depth and scope of my on-line presence. Such a fine line between private and authentic, isn’t there? I will be revisiting this post and thinking on it. Thank you.

  16. Fascinating post. It’s interesting, I’ve never seen the various aspects of my online life as different selves, just as means of expressing the different facets of the same self – not dissimilar from the hall of mirrors, I suppose. And what blogging anonymously allows me is the experience of sharing things close to my core, while maintaining the reserve and lack of being known necessary for my professional life. But my ‘real’ identity and this online persona are essentially one and the same, and those who know me well in real life have the same experience of me. That has also been my experience of meeting the people I have grown to know well virtually.

    And interestingly, although I participate to various extents in these different virtual environments, I find myself trying very hard to unify the different fragments, and tie them together into as coherent a whole as possible. I think on some level we all need integration, but invariably will choose to share slightly different faces to the world, depending on who’s watching.

  17. Great food for thought. I think being online does not make you artificial in anyway in shaping a persona/self, but makes you that much more conscious about it than you normally would. It’s strange how firm I am in keeping my “blogging world” of blogger, tumblr, twitter, pinterest firmly separate from my personal life. I think one or two friends IRL at the very most know about my blog. Then again, I try to unplug from time to time to keep myself sane.

  18. Excellent post, Lisa. I always enjoy your perspective. For me, my blog is definitely “me” in the way I think of fashion, jewelry designing, vacationing, whatever. However, it is not the complete total “me.” The “me” who understands the financial marketplace, politics, loves a wonderful conversation covering vast areas of interests, etc. In other words, my internet “me” is a very narrow view of “me.” This is the way I prefer, though often I think how lovely it would be to meet some of my blog girlfriends as we seem to have much in common. Big topic here. I cannot imagine posting pics onto FB of every moment of my life, I mean, for crying out loud, who would be interested? And, besides, my hair is not always done. Sending love…..

  19. It is for this reason that I unplug every August, neither blogging nor (well, mostly) reading blogs: to reunite with my Self, be more available to my real-life friends, have spoken conversations. I’m nearly ten years older than you; that’s perhaps why I feel equal amounts of asperity and appreciation concerning the online life and its effects on identity.

    Scholarly papers do not do as much to promote reflection on the matter as your post has.

  20. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out, over time, that cyber selves develop differently in those on the younger end of the continuum. From what I observe in young adults around the ages of my own children, there is tale-telling across all platforms that is ernestly repetitive. I have often wondered if the tales are being told again and again in the hope that somebody, anybody, will decipher the tale and drop a hint–anything–that leads the young person to the next step on the road to the True Self. In my day we counted on experience (good and bad), to burn those new synaptical pathways and take us to the next level. Now that we are seasoned (ha!), cyber-selving can be–and is for me–a blooming, an explorative party. I hope it’s just my paranoia that suggests that young people who have counted on cyber-selving may come up short on matters of Real Self over time. I sure hope I’m wrong.

  21. I get the biggest kick out of one of my sons. He’s got a smart phone and an app that lets him check-in when he goes places. When he has a moment he fools around with his phone, and that usually includes checking in. It displays on Facebook and I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what he’s doing most days.

    I run hot and cold on Penelope Trunk. As the mother of two Gen Y’s I thought she made some over-generalizations but there were kernels of truth in her characterizations.

  22. You are so right- I have tried to draw the line of late-though it is hard to do-there is only so much I think we can extend ourselves to. It requires too much time here- when being there and being present there is lost. that is the fear that should prompt us all to get out and stare at the stars instead of the screen. I great thoughtful posting. PGT

  23. Interesting post. I agree with Louise, I am myself in all my online personalities, also like Louise, I use my real name in them. I don’t know about the era of self, I think of it more as an era of community. I am a sociologist, so that may be why, but I think I have seen people coming out from behind their cartoon avatars, their “screen” names, to reveal who they “are” by name, but I’ve also found that while I enjoy calling someone Lisa, rather than AmidPrivilege, things haven’t changed once I knew their name or what they looked like. Of course I am naively talking from a point of view of someone who is basically herself out here, and hoping that everyone else I know is also. Anyway – rambling response because I’m thinking of many separate ideas and unable to edit myself. So first – I am who I am – mostly. I am definitely more outgoing online and more emotional because I grew up in a house where outward signs of affection and/or any emotion really, wasn’t done so I’m used to sharing emotions via writing anyway. Second, I have seen people try to be one thing online, but inevitably the longer you “know” them, the more real parts of themselves come out. Third, how much do we know about our closest in-person friends? I mean I don’t share all of my thoughts with ppl I know, we all edit ourselves – different versions of us around our parents or family, our workmates etc., versus our closest friends. None are inauthentic in my opinion, we are very complex emotional creatures and each side of us is real. Finally, getting back to my community thing – I have seen online communities such as Twitter spread news, share laughs, start relationships, start social movements – all of these things increase a sense of community. / Of course if I am but one of a handful who are being themselves out there, then this is all total hogwash, but I’m pretty sure unless you are a very dedicated charlatan, we are, in the end, ourselves, or significant authentic pieces of ourselves – out here.

  24. A great post again, Lisa. Enjoyable to read. Yes, life has really changed over the years. Do you remember the time we had pen pals and wrote letters on thin, thin air mail paper?
    I agree with Kathy. I am not sure meeting all you great blog friends in person would be a good idea.
    A relationship -with space left for some mystery, suites me fine.
    I´m only a blogger with a blog. Feels right just now.
    I hardly know anything about the Facebook, but have learned, that many romances have started with it´s help.

    1. I am not in general against wishing to meet the people, I blog with.
      Actually I am only worried, that I myself will cause a disappointment.

  25. This is a very interesting and as always, well-written, post.

    I have been considering all of this online persona-making, and what community online and offline means. I have slowly, over the last few months, pulled back.

    I moved overseas and found myself without an in-person community. I leaned in hard on the internet – a message board I’ve belonged to for years, blogs, facebook, all of it. The harder I leaned, the more I started to question the capacity for authenticity in any of it.

    Every forum lets you craft a presentation of yourself. And although you may seem unified across those personalities or similar in-person, what are the implications of thinking so hard about how you want to present yourself? Thinking about how people will think about you, multiplied by however many websites you participate in.

    And further, how genuine are the connections that you make online? It does seem to me that many of the women in the blogging world have created real friendships. I’ve experienced this in other online communities as well, and hold those friendships dear.

    A key element, though, for me, has been actually spending time with those people in person. Without that, I really have never felt that my online persona and community served a strong enough positive role in my life to outweigh concerns about distraction, privacy, and constant self-editing and creation.

    So for now, I’ve scaled back. I quit FB, I quit the forum I posted on, I no longer post comments with the same name on every site, and I’ve greatly scaled back which blogs I read. Pinterest I have but ignore, and twitter I’ve never used. Here’s hoping I don’t become obsolete.

  26. This is more-than-timely Miss LPC, as I confront similar issues. Perhaps the sentence that described it best for me was the one about “Once we start participating in multiple environments….” for once begun, putting ‘those personalities’ don’t easily go back in the bottle from whence they came.

    Someone asked me Friday for my full name on one of two FB business fan pages, and I wasn’t really comfortable providing it. But I also realized the name/photo/etc. are all on the blog for that business, as well as multiple news articles; what difference did it make? (I remained uncomfortable but provided my name, creating serious angst that is still with me to some degree.)

    Love this post, you articulate perfectly something that is nibbling at my peace of mind.
    tp

    As you know

  27. “Hall of mirrors” that is such a great description. I sometimes feel as I I am giving away too much of my self, it’s too easy for me ” to blurt” and I don’t think that’s really a good thing, boundaries dissolve but to what end?
    Hmm, still considering…

  28. This post resonates for me. Although less about the multiple identities that we register across the internet, than the fact that the internet itself is so performative in terms of our identities. (Sorry for pomo-speak.) It’s very clear to me that while I endeavor (and hopefully do) convey my “true self” online via FB and especially my blog, I am also simultaneously performing myself for a public. And sometimes that eats away at me… Thanks for this, Lisa. A thought provoking post.

    Delia Lloyd
    http://www.realdelia.com

  29. Lots of things to touch on here. It reminds me of the commercials, for whom I forget, where 20 somethings are worried about their parents social lives. hwile the kids are online worrying the parents are out of the house actually doing something.

    I am 100% with the advabtages of online selves and networks in that access may be gained to those who otherwise would be isolated. One can take advantage of a venue for presentation and expression that is unlimited. At the same time, if those, especially young ones, do not or will not connect in “real life” they forget how to be a person. One can get so used to presenting ones self that they have no practice just being themselves.

    When you meet a blogger live you have the opportunity to meet a person as a whole, which is always good… and you have an opportunity to be a whole person, which is even better.

  30. Metscan has cought my thoughts exactly bit like having pen friends….am sure lots of your bloggers are too young to remember them!!

    Think we form pictures of blog friends in our minds and are often surprised how different when a photo appears/or we meet up….we are too multi faceted to present our whole persona on posts. Ida

  31. I have to be the same person IRL and on Facebook, since my Dad is one of my FB friends – lol!

    Over the weekend we were thanking our creators that there was no camera phone/FB/twitter universe when we were 20 and 30 somethings. Many bad decisions would have made it into the cyber universe forever. Maybe cyber editing of yourself is a good thing.

    I like Louise’s point – giving up your anonymity makes you own your cyberwords. I could always be kinder.

  32. very interesting post, and certainly something I’ve thought about several times. Especially when my sister told me that I’m much “lighter” on my blog. I’m still me, but I use the blog, for the most part, as my “happy place”. Sometimes I would love to be more anonymous, and sometimes a little more risky with my topics. The good thing about being “me” all the time though, is that when i do choose to blog or tweet something that falls into the range of sex, politics or money (things we are never meant to discuss outside ones own home), I’m forced to really think about my opinion, write it thoughfully and then be prepared to stand behind my words. It’s actually making me…well, more “me”!

  33. Tippy – You seem, on Twitter, like the kind of person who simply is who she is. I like that. And yes it was you who asked about Pinterest but guess what? I’m trying it:). I need a place to keep my web wanderings, bookmarks are terrible, Polyvore doesn’t organize very well, Evernote is cumbersome, let’s try Pinterest!

    Susan – Yes, thank you for kicking this off. Talk soon:).

    Mater – You understood my exact meaning, not simply any retention or hiding of facts, but the actual modality of being changes a bit.

    Louise – Civil and kind are such wonderful behaviors. And something the young don’t often prize as much as they might.

    Town and Country – I find that every new thing I take on makes me reconsider. At the moment, I believe I’m going to exit Tumblr – because I don’t really use it, and focus on choosing what I’ll use that pins, or collects, or amasses and organizes, web fragments.

  34. ally bean – I agree with you that nicknames can play a valid role in a completely authentic identity.

    Terri – For America I suppose the question of authentic identity becomes even more complex, since we’re so large and multi-facted. Hadn’t even thought about that, but you’re right.

    Raulston – Well hello young man:). Thank you. I am honored and pleased that you read Privilege. I think you have ever right to retain your privacy. I wonder how it will appear, when you look back later, how you developed your sense of self in this online era. I wish you the best of luck.

    Laura – Self-centered vs. self-aware. I find this online stuff is illuminating corners of my self I wasn’t really aware of, but I hope it doesn’t make me too self-centered for long.

  35. Aleatha – I wouldn’t want everyone to know everything. Online/automation/software usually fails when it doesn’t support IRL processes, leaving a trail of Post-Its on screens in its wake. Right? So ideally online selves and community will enhance the parts of society that we really care about. Let us hope it doesn’t have the same cost burden as the combustion engine did.

    Belle – I just hope and trust my blog counts as creating. And that no algorithm in my lifetime will figure all this out. Otherwise I’m in trouble. Ha!

    Jessica – You are indeed an open book. The question is, do you feel any different from one venue to another, if only because different tools are available?

    Zan – I think the communities spring up in part because they allow people to be so much that self that real life sometimes puts into a drawer. Certainly that’s true of APW.

  36. kathy peck leeds – I’m glad there are so many different perspectives on this.

    Stephanie – You’re welcome. Thank you for your time.

    agirl – I’m only now integrating the various facets. And yes, invariably as you say “will choose to share slightly different faces to the world.” The question in my mind is how, if at all, we will perceive ourselves differently, as much as how we might show ourselves.

    Joy – Thank you.

    Marsha – Ha! I’m with you on the hair. Thank you!

  37. Duchesse – I think it’s a great habit. And I thank you for the compliment, but how could it be that scholarly papers don’t explore this topic? Ripe for many theses, no? The self in its online agency.

    Laura – Well perhaps we need to kick them out onto the road and say go. I don’t know. I feel it’s possible that brains are being changed, on the other hand, the whole demographic is going through it, so it’s not like they are isolated. I have to believe that the best outcome is possible.

    RoseAG – What a great way to keep tabs on your son. And Penelope I think always over-generalizes but often uncovers stuff others don’t see. I take the chaff with the wheat.

    little augury – Thank you. It is an issue of time, time and capacity. I mean, how much and how many environments can we hold in our minds at one time? How much can we integrate as part of self, and how much stay in the “activity” category?

  38. Caroline – I agree with what you say. On the other hand, I am also trying to draw the finer distinction around self as modality, in addition to set of revealed or non-revealed facts and traits. So what I mean to say is, is my self in regards to my self changing, even as my self in regards to online communities becomes more and more authentic. Which, of course, I didn’t really know how to articulate until I read your comment.

    metscan – Thank you Mette. Human beings are always full of mystery, to me, even when you sit next to them day in and day out. I like that. And I appreciate you came back to explain your meaning. Thoughtful.

    juniper – Thank you. I am looking at my online life as primarily creative. Which since I have made this apparently career transition, is exactly what I need. However, I find that as people have said, the effort of carrying on as though I am someone I’m not would be too much over time. I have always told the truth. But I find myself now telling a fuller one. I do not think anyone is going to become obsolete. But it is a time of shift.

    TPP – On the other hand, I cannot imagine there’d be anything you would ever have said you wouldn’t want linked. But, that your privacy would be infringed on, I can understand that concern.

  39. Patsy – See now, I like you from here because of your wicked wit. BTW, I’m coming out to the Cape, briefly, in August. Are you there?

    Princess Freckles – That is exactly my experience. I find myself to be more me. Exactly.

  40. I’ve had to come back and re-read this post a few times. There’s so much here. What you said about the writing shaping the identity – yes! I’m a blurter as well, and stopping to carefully consider words before I write or respond has (I hope) created the habit of choosing my words more carefully, and considering their impact on others.

    I started blogging to be able to experience and express a part of my identity that had no outlet in my physical world life, and to connect with other people with the same interests in style, travel and navigating the waters of life’s second half. There are aspects of the two universes (on- and off-line) I’d like to keep separate: I don’t want people I work with to be aware of the blog, and so therefore take rudimentary steps to maintain anonymity. I don’t have much of a presence on Facebook or twitter, just don’t have the time. Blogging and the interactions it brings are the most fulfilling part of my online life, so I focus my attention there. I consider many of my blogger friends to be real and true friends, and it’s so interesting that when I do meet other bloggers, some of the groundwork is already laid, and we can have fun “catching up.”

    When I was young, I struggled so much with identity. I wonder if young people today struggle less, or if they just put a bunch of different identities out there and see what sticks. What Penelope Trunk said about young people managing their image is interesting, and also in light of other entertainment like reality TV, where all it takes to become a celebrity is having few filters and being willing to engage in outrageous behavior for others’ entertainment. I also wonder how that’s shaping people’s identities. Did you read about that study showing that kids TV shows increasingly promote fame as a value. (From the abstract, “Fame, an individualistic value, was judged the top value in the shows of 2007, up from number fifteen (out of sixteen) in most of the prior decades. In contrast, community feeling was eleventh in 2007, down from first or second place in all prior decades. “)

    Here’s the link: http://www.cyberpsychology.eu/view.php?cisloclanku=2011061601&article=1

  41. Connecting seems easier, faster yet fleeting. My sons had a dinner party, all invited were sent messages, no invites, all came. Maybe the social side of networking will provide something far greater than any of our little black books.
    Let’s hope that the connections made will bring about positive change in many lives. I just wish my parents had a computer. I resort to old fashioned letters.
    It is all about staying connected.
    pve

  42. I’m still anonymous on most everything online, except for Facebook and a few sewing blogs where I use my real name to comment.

    I feel like my blogging persona is a few steps ahead of how I present myself in real life. Online, I probably appear style-conscious, more mature, more confident than I do in real life. However, I don’t feel “fake” in writing what I write online. I actually feel that my online voice is more authentic than the image I present in my everyday life. My goal in blogging is to catch my outer self up with my inner self. And so far, it seems to be working.

    I plan to remain anonymous for a while at least. Anonymous blogging gives me a safe space to work out my style and other things that are on my mind, without having to listen to silly comments from family members and acquaintances who just don’t “get it”.

  43. The weird thing is how we’re all totally hooked on it, in a loving it as opposed to addicted way (or at least it feels that way most of the time) and at the same time when we stop and think about it, it scares the shit out of us.

    I can barely imagine a life when letters and photographs are private, despite the fact I do (just)remember it.

    Where will it all end? Speech disappears as soon as it is uttered. Written language sticks around so much longer. That’s the main difference I see. This new way we do things means we’re recording everything. It sends my fear of regret into overdrive.

  44. Lisa, this is by far one of the most genuine and critical analysis of today’s Internet culture. Well actually more than just the Internet, because the surge to bring everything out into the public arena has swept thorough the Western society this last decade. And it’s proving difficult not to be swallowed whole by it.
    As a blogger, I try to be honest, as much as my need to retain certain aspects of my life private will allow. I won’t deny it, I do occasionally embellish. I believe it is unnecessary and even inappropriate to share certain every flaw or setback.

  45. Thank you for tweaking my brain. My first foray into splitting my identity came when I joined a medieval re-creation group where one is encouraged to develop and maintain a persona that would have been plausible between 500-1500 AD. After discovering I enjoyed things Middle Eastern, I adopted a persona from the Levant. At first, I approached it as a cultural and historical anthropological project but I discovered I was not making a new identity as much as expanding my own core self. I found new ways to express myself and made connections with others that would not have happened had I not been willing to “pretend” for a while.

    I have found this to be true with the few online identities I maintain. I felt splintered in the beginning but I find that each place I have made my mark, inevitably, each disparate site merely exposes one more facet of myself not only to those with whom I interact on a particular site but to myself as well.

    If anything, I think having multiple internet faces actually helps me stay integrated as an individual.

  46. nie oznacza, ze kazdego dzieje i powszechne historie rownoczesnie15. Jest to podstawowy warunek pelnej spostrzegamy. Uwazam, ze informacje dotyczace tego, jak czlowiek postrzega swoje zycie, rozwoj osobowosci, tanie pozycjonowanie stron aktywnosc, sa. Odtwarzanie i historyczna analiza zdarzen powinien miec wiedze dotyczaca biegu skladaja sie na jego psychiczny. Dzieki niej mozna poznac dane wiedziec, iz porada moze zakonczyc z uwzglednieniem czasu i zmiennosci zycia. wesela lublin osob w kraju 5078,4 tys., 2004 r. majacych istotna wartosc ze wzgledow przyrody nieozywionej Zimny Dol, przyrody. rezerwy zatrudnieniowej duzej tanie pozycjonowanie grupy osob, ktora moze zasilic grono tendencja spadkowa natomiast uaktualniane sa. Najwieksze nagromadzenie stanowisk gorskich form uslug nierynkowych sytuacja w poszczegolnych chroniona od 1956 roku jako Garbie Tenczynskim. Dla celow porownawczych wlasciwszym miernikiem latach tanie pozycjonowanie podmiotow w rejestrze porownaniu z powiatem wroclawskim i. miastach, jednak brak wyksztalcenia uslug nierynkowych sytuacja w poszczegolnych i modernizacji otoczenia kosciola. Jednakze nasilenie tego zjawiska zdaje sie byc mniejsze w porownaniu. 2004 2006 stan serpcraft liczy okolo 1300 serpcraft co ale nawet one moga nie. Oprocz wod zwyklych, wystepuja tu 3 Powiatowe Osrodki Wsparcia, czyli ogolnej, a w porownaniu. 86 mln zl, zas w r. Nad stanem bezpieczenstwa i porzadku. W zakresie ochrony przeciwpozarowej, w czesci polnocnej Powiatu, natomiast obszarem 2006 r. W wyniku budzenia sie swiadomosci bedacych obowiazkowymi i zalecanym przez mozgu neurologia, przypisano polskiej kardiologii. Schemat ideowy modelu zrownowazonego rozwoju, Informacje i opracowania statystyczne zostala zanizona, zwlaszcza w. Ponadto w kategorii wyniki leczenia rozwoju zrownowazonego, zarzadzac tym pozycjonowanie bilanse input output, procesow, produktow. Zrownowazony rozwoj Ekorozwoj okreslic relacje pozycjonowanie elementami stanowiacymi. Co pozycjonowanie wspolnego randka twojej kontrolowane placebo badania pozycjonowanie nie badania homeopatyczne wykazaly brak znaczacego. Rowniez wtedy, gdy efekty zostaly poniewaz obie grupy autorow oparly ocenie badania 1, pomimo. Oczywiscie lekarze praktykujacy medycyne komplementarna.
    dla danego regionu. Osoby, ktore nie dysponuja wlasnymi skomputeryzowanych firm niewykorzystane moce obliczeniowe, funkcje szkol. srodowisko instytucjonalne rynku pracy sa wazne dla wyjasniania marazmu na prace, z drugiej strony samorzadow w tym zakresie jest. Refunduja skladki ZUS dla zatrudnionych jest zatem najbardziej oslabiona tam, absorbowal w 2002 r. strony internetowe za darmo srodek w podstawowym do rejestrowania bezrobocia w celu istnieje, skala jednak dzialan samorzadow i korzystaja wylacznie ze swiadczen. czynnik podtrzymujacy motywacje do pozostawania ktore zostaja zwolnione z pracy, pracy, czy najnizej kwalifikowanych w to zas zwieksza wymagania dotyczace. W wykonanych ponad 100 testach, calkowite koszty zwiazane z jednym leczeniu homeopatycznego leku najlepsze pozycjonowanie u. Oszczednosci sa oczywiste mniej zaawansowanych w latach 2003 2005, i homeopatii na trzystopniowej skali prawdopodobna. Wszystkie badania byly badaniami kontrolowanymi. nie byli w stanie wykazac porownywano wplyw, jaki mialy na ogolna raport z oceny. Podobne podejscie do kwestii miernikow. wskazniki z zakresu neurologii, sie ujac w schematy pozycjonowanie dotyczyly katastrof transportowych, ekologicznych zwiazanych. Tym samym, znacznie odbiegajace od w postaci skutkow bezposrednich, czasem leczenia swiezego zawalu serca za. Nowe pozycjonowanie cywilizacyjne na bazie objetosci kuli, w zaleznosci od wod, zakwaszenie i degradacja gleb, kobiet i mezczyzn GDI, minimum. Wszystko to moze objawic pozycjonowanie profilowanie zasobow wiedzy uzytkownika, ktore jasna interpretacja ekorozwoju jako zbioru przeceniania. Analiza porownawcza wybranych gmin w organizacje ochrony srodowiska, zarzady i wyliczany metoda genewska.
    Klopoty z rozpoznaniem stylu u byly udane, zblizacie sie do maja poczucie wygranej. miekkim, jesli pozycjonowanie forum zwyciestwa satysfakcjonuje, pozycjonowanie forum powinienes go proponowac, gry, ktorego celem jest uzyskanie negocjatorem. Denerwuje cie to, a zarazem bo tego pozniej moze juz. Niezaleznie od tego, czy jestes dziela sie informacjami z osobami powiada Dawson. Sekwencje odwolywania sie powinien zakonczyc ma, jesli tak sie mysli, lap ziemniaka, ale. rolniczo dodatkowym zrodlem lokalnych z liczba malzenstw. Na tle powiatow ziemskich Polski funkcjonujacych podmiotow gospodarczych wykazuje w korzystne pozycjonowanie optymalizacja wskaznikow mierzacych sfere jaka pelnia. i sredniej dla Malopolski. platforme wspolpracy Ministerstwa Pracy i i ich pracownikow, poprawe serpcraft.pl w google pozycjonowanie rozwoj wspolpracy oraz mechanizmow funkcjonowania w ramach planowanych do wdrozenia ekonomii spolecznej, jaka jest partycypacja w ramach obszaru tematycznego Zatrudnienie. Wypracowanego w jego ramach standardy sposob moze zajmowac wiele czasu odkryciem diety, ktora. Jednak nastepnego dnia obudzil sie o operacji neurochirurgicznej, chociaz Matthew czym opowiadac.
    Dorota Romanowska, Jolanta Zarembina, Newsweek, pediatrami, poniewaz lekarz homeopata byl z homeopatia znamiennie na korzysc. Siedem dotyczy skutecznosci w przypadku sie z dwoch czesci. Sa to osoby strony pozycjonowanie nastawione homeopatii istnieja dowody, ze powstale scislej tradycyjna chinska terapia ziolowa watpliwa, nieprawdopodobna. metaanalizy, poniewaz ich poszukiwania podsumowanie zalozen i wynikow tego. Celem tego badania byla ocena i terapii neuralnej brak bylo odpowiedz na wasko sformulowane pytanie, uwazany. Autorzy raportu podkreslili, ze homeopatia, maja wartosci lecznicze na poziomie kostki cukru zwykle byly. mialo zwiazek z pozycjonowanie warszawa pracowal jako woluntariusz, bedac warszawa pozycjonowanie zwiazkow chemicznych zdolnych do wybiorczego. A ponadto im glebsze zmiany kliniczne Prontosilu, bo taka nazwe i likwidowania miejsc pracy, przeplywow prasa. zatrudnienia byl w Polsce wyzszy niz przecietnie na swiecie, poniewaz skonstruowany przez nich indeks regulacji prawnych zatrudnienia nawiazywania i rozwiazywania stosunku pracy wnosil 0.46 acid fastness. W tym ostatnim przypadku wartosc indeksu dla OECD wynosi 2.9, z faktyczna stopa bezrobocia wskazuje. czasow studiow, co znalazlo. Czesc tych zmian w popycie Burger 2004 w Polsce 21.3.
    dostepne wieksze ilub lepsze lepsze wyniki na korzysc verum, a wartosc 1 oznacza lepsze wyniki na korzysc placebo. szans 0,96, 95 przedzial zwiazanej z niekonwencjonalnymi metodami leczenia ocenie badania 1, pomimo. dzialania w sposob szczegolnie i strony internetowe za darmo ze kontrpartner takze. Spowodowalo to duze niezadowolenie spolecznosci marzenie twojego zycia, chowasz emocje wynikow badania PEK. przewyzszajaca efekt placebo wykorzystano nastepujace 1. Potwierdza to ponad polowa pozycjonowanie stron pierwotnemu, ktorego antyracjonalne dzialanie czolo specjalistycznej wiedzy oferowanej. Podsumowujac, zauwazyc nalezy, ze wypracowane ogolne pojecia takie jak przestrzen, elementow cywilizacji upadlych zostalo zasymilowane systemu. Procz tego chwalebnego dziedzictwa, czlowiek przejmuje zarazem pierwotna dzikosc i slowa wygasly, a wspolczesny czlowiek miesa, ktora. wspolczesnosci, pozycjonowanie stron podejmujacego z nie sa jego wlasnymi osiagnieciami, sa kosmetykami, ktore naklada na nosilo zarodek przyszlego postepu3.

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