Privilege Blog

January Wet And Dry, Or, Saturday Morning at 9:05am

I can tell you exactly the point where drinking less alcohol did it for me: no more two days/week, no more than a total of four glasses/week. The tipping point. Right there I started sleeping better, I could let a night or two go by without missing it, and, funnily enough, more than two glasses made me feel terrible.

As long-time readers know, I’ve been cutting back on drinking for many years. Fifteen, to be precise. I don’t want to stop altogether, but have been determined to retool a bad habit that was this close to disaster. At one point I drank 2-3 glasses of wine a night. In retrospect, yikes. It hasn’t been easy; I’ve been pretty bull-headed.

And here we are.

It’s pouring rain in California, as I’m sure you’ve all seen in the news or out your windows. We’ve escaped the flooding at my house, although on December 31st we drove to San Francisco and back, not realizing that 8 determined inches of water was about to fall on the roads. We didn’t get stuck, we didn’t spin out, but we did drive through an intersection where fallen leaves had clogged the storm drains. The spray roared and the force of the water bent our license plate, cresting just over the hood of the car.

That’s kind of how my drinking was. When your license plate bends, vow to be more careful, grateful you didn’t float down the river. Thank you for the metaphor, injured nature.

I am also, in the midst of this Pineapple Express, joining Dry January. Not that I over-indulged for the holidays, just that in my experience I emerge from the practice even less tied to drinking than before. Which is my aim. To enjoy 20-30 year old California cabernets without damage. I understand this means alcohol is part of my life and affects me. I accept that.

I know some of you embrace sobriety. I support you. Some of you may be struggling, I feel you. For anyone who is always happier with highly cognitive moderation, in everything from sugar to savasana, and is also a little bull-headed, know that it’s possible. The steps are just more like eleventy-sixty-four and three-quarters than twelve.

All comments in support of all efforts toward well-being welcome. I hope you are safe and warm, if not necessarily dry. Have a wonderful weekend.

(If you want to read past posts about alcohol in my life, type “alcohol” into that little search box on the left and I think you’ll find most of them. I send good thoughts for your well-being.)

11 Responses

  1. Yikes! Was it water or plate that was up to the hood of the car?
    I have a fear about cars/water/bridges. Every time I drive across the a big bridge I’m braced, how will I get out of the terrorist picks that exact moment to launch a rocket at the bridge and we go off the edge. Could I calmly wait for the car to fill with water so the pressure will equalize and the doors open easily, what if the dog’s leash gets caught on something? It’s enough to drive a person to drink :)
    Except that drinking never makes our problems better, although sometimes it can seem like it. A good night’s sleep always makes problems better. Snooze on in the New Year.

    1. RoseAG, it was the water, in a wave that we caused by driving through the flooded intersection. I am interested by your fear, at the same time as being sympathetic. I am the same way about being outside on a tall building, so, kind of a reverse fear. I hope you never have to face yours. A good night’s sleep is the absolute best.

  2. I have exactly your rule (2 days, 4 drinks). And its corollaries are no drinking unless everyone is drinking (someone may be in a program), no drinking with professional colleagues (even if the event is social), and looking for excuses not to drink (in 2022 New Years Day was Sunday, which meant that stopping alcohol on the day before Thanksgiving was faux Secular Lent, which was a funny motivator to go through the entire holidays without alcohol). I enjoy drinking with friends but long ago realized that I have never once woken up and wished that I had had more the night before.

    1. Terry, the wisdom here! “I have never once woken up and wished that I had had more the night before.” And I agree, looking for excuses not to drink, i.e., it’s too late to bother, I’m driving, I’d rather wait for the old wine, etc., is a very useful trick.

  3. I’m so glad you weren’t affected by the flooding and that only your license plate suffered any damage.

    “Highly cognitive moderation” is my new favorite term — you sound very much like me. I’ve never really had the urge to drink too much, since I get terrible migraines, but I struggle with myself in various ever-shifting ways. It always seems that 1% better every day beats a big push to 100%, which is rarely effective for very long.

    I’m very glad you’re safe and hope you have a healthy, happy, wonderful weekend. xoxo

    1. Jess, thanks:). And exactly that, 1% better every day is the only way that I can really make progress. On a good day, maybe 2%;)

  4. A good night’s sleep and waking up somewhat refreshed is a great motivator.

    I don’t feel well with either more than (and I do measure) 1/8 cup of a spirit (like vodka) or 1/4 cup of wine. Never together and rarely more than that (like at a party) but I pay for it with horrible sleep, and bad next day, with more anxiety.

    Glad you’re safe, we had flooding in. my studio as you know, and it seems like the “fix” is working, because it’s pouring today and so far…dry. xoxo

    1. Kathy, so glad your studio is now resisting the floods! And I hope you didn’t lose anything. I think measuring out alcohol is a very reasonable strategy. I agree, if I drink more than I should, the next day feels very anxious. Really acts as a disincentive to bottoms up.

  5. Hi Lisa
    Very timely post for me. I stopped alcohol for 3 weeks before knee replacement surgery and will continue for 8 weeks after (a very dry January and February). One very small sip of champagne at New Year’s Eve. I can’t imagine what sleeping would be like if I did have a glass! Cognitive moderation-brilliant term-
    As in knee replacement: one step at a time—-
    Hoping for more sun next week, as it helps recovery immensely.
    Thanks for such a thoughtful blog!

  6. Lisa,
    I’m sure were all struggling with something, and I appreciate your post. I think your courageous even though it probably doesn’t feel like that.

    Luci

  7. So glad to have a comment section that works on my phone! Good for you moderating your drinking. As I read an article the other day about how any alcohol seems to increase certain health risks I wondered whether I should be giving up drinking entirely. But a glass, or occasionally two, of wine with dinner once or twice a week is a pleasure I’m not willing to give up., even though I know it means I’ll wake up at about 2:00 am. Maybe not smart, but it’s still worth it to me.

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