15 Ways To Experience The Best Possible Makeup Purchase In The Whole World


  1. Wander into a department store, cash in your pocket.
  2. Endure torture at the hands of a tall Russian makeup artist.
  3. Buy new makeup you don’t need.
  4. Tell your friends.
  5. Gain courage. (Known impolitely, but colorfully, as grow a pair.)
  6. Storm back into Saks, tell Chanel counter lady every detail of your torture and return the cosmetics. Storm with dignity.
  7. When she says, with a look of disdain, “You didn’t have to tell me all that,” reply, with impunity, “Oh, but I thought you should know.”
  8. Take your store credit and walk past every makeup counter, slowly. Explain to everyone you are looking for purple eyeshadow but that you are Taking. Your. Time.
  9. Take your time.
  10. Wind up at Nars, since you already know that Laura Mercier looks strangely orange on your skin, you don’t want to experiment with Bobbi Brown, Elizabeth Arden feels like a grandmother brand, and when the heck did Cle de Peau move beyond concealer? And why?
  11. Let the woman of a certain age, your age in fact, apply purple eyeshadow.
  12. Appreciate the fact that she is willing to use the lipstick and blush that you already own.
  13. Appreciate the fact that she lets you buy Dior mascara because you’ve heard Diorshow, um, rocks.
  14. Really appreciate the fact that Nars costs less than Chanel, which means you get to indulge in some extra, lavender, sparkly shadow for the center of your eyelid. Because one day you might wind up at the Met Ball for the Costume Institute. In which case you will certainly want to own a shadow called Night Fairy. Even if you never go to the Met Ball, the shadow will help you pretend that it’s possible.
  15. Tell your friends:). Then thank them.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Products, in case you wondered.
YSL Lipgloss in Golden Praline
YSL Creme Blush in Velvety Peach
Diorshow Mascara in Rich Black
Nars Eyeshadow Duo in Tokyo
Nars Single Eyeshadow in Night Fairy
Nars Lip Pencil in Tonga
Nars Eyeliner in
Manon

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52 Comments

  • 05/06/10
    5:21 am

    Reply

    Marcela said...

    I love your purchases! And, may we see a picture of you wearing them? ;)

  • 05/06/10
    5:22 am

    Reply

    Faux Fuchsia said...

    Night Fairy is a superior name for a colour I think. I love Nars. x

  • 05/06/10
    5:27 am

    Reply

    Belle on Heels said...

    ha! heart these posts! i literally just did a spit take with my diet coke when i read the line about cle de peau. so. true.

  • 05/06/10
    6:32 am

    Reply

    hostess of the humble bungalow said...

    Hooray!
    I am happy that you related the torturous details to the Chanel Lady…she needed to know!
    Night Fairy sounds very soft…and I totally applaud you for going with your instincts…we know in our hearts what's best.

  • 05/06/10
    6:38 am

    Reply

    JMW said...

    I laughed out loud at the comment about the tall Russian makeup artist!

  • 05/06/10
    6:57 am

    Reply

    Paula said...

    what a happy happy ending/beginning of this fairy tale!

  • 05/06/10
    6:57 am

    Reply

    materfamilias said...

    May I borrow some impunity? I need to have a somewhat similar conversation/encounter at the Lancome booth . . . same brand, same store, different locations, quite different recommendations, some rather supercilious eyebrow behaviour at the very thought of wearing certain colours (previously suggested and tested on me by a Lancome cosmetician . . .)
    So your success is inspiring. . .

  • 05/06/10
    7:21 am

    Reply

    Jan said...

    I'm trying to find makeup that doesn't make my face swell up like a threatened blowfish.

    Elizabeth Arden ain't it.

    Any suggestions?

  • 05/06/10
    7:30 am

    Reply

    Ms. Givens said...

    I need those colors.
    Do you use eye primer?
    I cant live without my eyeprimer.

  • 05/06/10
    8:05 am

    Reply

    La Belette Rouge said...

    Fantastic! I am so glad you got what you wanted. I do have to say that I am one of the few people in the world who doesn't swoon over Dior Show mascara. The other product that does NOTHING for me is the Urban Decay eye primer. I know that makes me a freak of nature as both products are considered Holy Grail products.

  • 05/06/10
    8:07 am

    Reply

    Vintage Simple said...

    Can't wait to see you rocking your new purple eye shadow. So glad you returned the blue one – the kind of stuff I'm always uncomfortable to do… (Why are we so wired to please??)

    Anyway. Well done. I'm glad you fought the good fight.

    xoox,
    -maria

  • 05/06/10
    8:19 am

    Reply

    Deja Pseu said...

    First, GOOD FOR YOU!!! ATTAGIRL!!!

    Oy, been there, done that. I've learned the hard way not to buy every product they insist on using.

    And I despise pushy cosmetics sales people (quote)Makeup Artists(unquote) who get right up in your face and insist on applying frosty eyeshadow after you've *told* them you don't like/can't wear frosty eye shadow. Even after you've told them *you are NOT going to buy any $(*#& frosty eye shadow.* Then you go into the ladies room and scrape it off as best you can.

    I'm a fan of NARS colors too. They do "subtle" quite well.

  • 05/06/10
    8:49 am

    Reply

    Vildy said...

    "When she says, with a look of disdain, "You didn't have to tell me all that," reply, with impunity, "Oh, but I thought you should know."

    Good for you! And because she clearly did not want to know or care, I think this proves that someone above her should also be told, in writing.

    Enjoy your lovely new shade – you sure earned it!

  • 05/06/10
    9:14 am

    Reply

    SewingLibrarian said...

    Bravissima!!

  • 05/06/10
    10:02 am

    Reply

    the gardeners cottage said...

    Hi,

    Perfect. Did you really get all that info/nerve from your readers/commenters? If so I say you are a good student because I don't think there was anything you could have done better. Bravo.

    ~janet

  • 05/06/10
    10:12 am

    Reply

    metscan said...

    LPC: Please, am I missing the point of this post or what? I sense your irony here. Please enlighten me! ( P.S. The Elisabeth Arden part actually is true! )

  • 05/06/10
    11:11 am

    Reply

    Semi Expat said...

    So, would you say Nars is best of all? Love the story… x

  • 05/06/10
    12:01 pm

    Reply

    girltuesday said...

    what, no "party monster?" ;)

    a long-time chanel fan, i've been nursing something of a secret crush on nars these last few months (save for diorshow because, as you aptly note, it rocks!). secret no more! i'm in well-dressed company.

  • 05/06/10
    12:28 pm

    Reply

    tippchic said...

    WOohoo- well done on asserting yourself- I have a smile of admiration on my face. And I am delighted you redeemed the encounter with make-up you actually wanted.

  • 05/06/10
    1:27 pm

    Reply

    Anonymous said...

    Does Nars Lip Pencil in Tonga work with Nars Sheer Lipstick in Cruising? Thank you.

  • 05/06/10
    1:58 pm

    Reply

    fourth said...

    LPC, There is delicate alchemy in being stylishly in control of a situation where the cards are stacked against us. I am sure you acquitted yourself with dignity, all the while with a pair. You have my vote ! The Fourth Canary

  • 05/06/10
    2:27 pm

    Reply

    Miss A said...

    Well done… and good job on the Nars. Best eyeshadows I own.

  • 05/06/10
    3:01 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Marcela – :)

    Faux Fuchsia – If you say it is Superior, I am happy.

    Belle – Oh yay! I love to make you laugh!

    Hostess – Hearts can be hard for High WASPs…

    JMW – Yes, I found out he was Russian, not just generally East European.

  • 05/06/10
    3:04 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Paula – Thanks!

    Mater – Sending some impunity your way. I just borrowed it anyway…

    Jan – That sounds awful. My knee jerk response would be Clinique, but I really don't know. Maybe I should look into it.

    Ms. Givens – The Polyvore on your blog today would look great with this eye makeup:).

    Belette – I can't wear Diorshow everyday. Too much fallout. But for the special event, I'm thinking it will be good. Or, I will just find out I am a freak of nature too. Have you tried Laura Mercier's primer? I like it very much.

  • 05/06/10
    3:09 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Vintage – wired to please indeed. I do not know.

    Pseu – Thank you. We are all encouraging eachother in our various endeavors, no?

    Vildy – It was so satisfying.

    Sewing – Thank you!

    Gardner's – Yes, I did. I listened to you all and I saw how silly it was to spend over $100 on something I didn't want.

    Metscan – I'm joking because I bought a bunch of makeup I didn't want and then I returned it. It's a tongue in cheek story. So E. Arden is grandmother's even in Finland?

  • 05/06/10
    3:12 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Semi Expat – Nars and Chanel have very good colors for those of us in the blue family. Laura Mercier and Bobbi Brown are better, I think, for those in the yellow family.

    girltuesday – I think it's time to go for a full romance.

    Tippchic – Thank you!

    Anon – I went and tried it out for you:). Yes, the pencil matches. Perfectly. However, the Sheer Lipstick is so sheer that you can't extend the lip liner beyond the li at all.

    Fourth – Thank you. I have put my pair back in its drawer where I hope it will stay until the next time I really need it.

  • 05/06/10
    3:30 pm

    Reply

    Maureen@IslandRoar said...

    Yay! You are inspiring. And funny.
    AND I love the color!

  • 05/06/10
    4:07 pm

    Reply

    Summer is a Verb said...

    Love NARS products! Although, I rarely, and I mean rarely venture past lip gloss on any given day. I require Met Gala type shindigs to pull out the big guns…XXOO

  • 05/06/10
    9:00 pm

    Reply

    Anonymous said...

    What an exquisite colour selection!
    Night Fairy will look wonderful with navy garments.

  • 05/07/10
    2:06 am

    Reply

    Shelley said...

    I guess that's why I prefer drugstore brands – I don't need to 'grow any' to deal with snotty salespeople. But well done you!

  • 05/07/10
    3:43 am

    Reply

    metscan said...

    LPC: Thanks for the filling in. I´m not sure if I could have done the second round though, and in that illusion thought, that your tale was just an odd story. So, you really did take the stuff back, and made two posts about the thing. Good for you : )

  • 05/07/10
    4:03 am

    Reply

    Paula said...

    LPC, if you consider wearing a eye shadow base coz the color ends up in the crease, I recommend MAC paintpot in color "Painterly", it is a light skin tone and whith this as your base, the eyeshadowe stays in place all day. You could apply it with a brush or simply pat in in your lid with your fingertips.
    I need it as soon as I leave the terrain of nudes and neutrals.

    wow, my vocabulary is almost "native" when it comes to make up: crease! ;-)

  • 05/07/10
    4:11 am

    Reply

    Buckeroomama said...

    …reply, with impunity, "Oh, but I thought you should know."

    I loved that!

  • 05/07/10
    4:55 am

    Reply

    Anonymous said...

    What a triumphant victory story!!
    I stumbled upon your blog recently and you're an inspiration to young girls :)

    Lexy

  • 05/07/10
    5:57 am

    Reply

    Giovanna said...

    yes, please. you had me at night fairy.

  • 05/07/10
    9:44 am

    Reply

    Anonymous said...

    May I please ask if you use foundation primer, concealer, foundation and powder? If yes, what brands do you favour? Thank you.

  • 05/07/10
    1:58 pm

    Reply

    Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

    LPC:
    I'm gulity of choosing make up for their fabulous packaging! I adore Chanel & YSL~

    xo

  • 05/07/10
    3:36 pm

    Reply

    Sydney Shop Girl said...

    LPC
    Applause for impunity and great purchases at the end of it all.

    Enjoy :-)

    SSG xxx

  • 05/08/10
    3:35 am

    Reply

    North of 25A said...

    Good for you – love a happy ending, purple or otherwise.

  • 05/08/10
    4:56 am

    Reply

    Duchesse said...

    You've got big ones, lady. Didn't know one could return makeup, thought it was like lingerie, unreturnable for hygienic reasons.

    Nars have such wonderful colours, just pigmented enough to be definite but not scary.

  • 05/08/10
    8:56 am

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Maureen – Thank you:).

    Summer – Well you're the real thing, dear.

    Anon – Oh good, you're right! With navy!

    Shelley – I think next I have to develop enough courage to try some drugstore brands. Or maybe it's expertise that I lack.

    Metscan – Yes. I really did it. Two posts was maybe overkill, but I wanted to thank everyone for bringing me to my senses.

  • 05/08/10
    9:20 am

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Paula – Thank you for the recommendation. I believe I have a Laura Mercier equivalent. My kudos on your use of the word "crease.":)

    Buckeroo – Thanks. BTW, your shirt is in the mail….

    Lexy – Wow. That is the best thing I could ever hear. I was a young girl right as the women's movement began, so I feel it very deeply in many ways.

    Giovanna – ha! What are you wearing for wedding face adornment?

    Lenore – Well, the packaging is a part of the fun of the purchase:). BTW, I love your blog. It's really unique.

  • 05/08/10
    9:21 am

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Sydney – Thank you:).

    North – Yes, sometimes we have to make our own happy endings, if the world isn't providing.

    Duchesse – Well thank you. The stamp of cojones approval:).

  • 05/08/10
    1:03 pm

    Reply

    Caroline, No. said...

    Ooh, I love those sparkly NARS pencils. I have one named after a seventies New York club, I can't remember which one off the top of my head. I bought it in New York on a girls' trip, when I'd forgotten my entire makeup bag. Completely impractical, but at least I had sparkly eyes. :)

  • 05/08/10
    2:01 pm

    Reply

    Hannah the zebra said...

    MAC's Lip+Prime works well as a primer for lipstick, as their Paintpot works for eyeshadow.

    Have you managed to find a lipstick that lasts most of the day, doesn't dehydrate your lips, and doesn't feather? So far I've found lipsticks that last, but make my lips feel like they've been desert-baked, or lipsticks that are moisturizing, but fade away in 30 minutes or feather badly. Shiny would be nice too. Advice is appreciated!

  • 05/08/10
    2:07 pm

    Reply

    zebraschild.com said...

    PS: And Night Fairy has to be the coolest name ever! Got to get some.

  • 05/08/10
    3:29 pm

    Reply

    Miss Cavendish said...

    Love lavender shadow. I have a little pot from Bobbi Brown. Once I put it on my eyebrows, inspired by a WendyB post, and went to work, having forgotten about it.

  • 05/10/10
    4:07 pm

    Reply

    the Preppy Princess said...

    This is absolutely the best Miss LPC, good on you! My alltime favorite part of the post? "Oh, but I thought you should know." (With the aforementioned impunity.) This is now a classic line, to be used with shared knowing glances and raised eyebrows when necessary.

    You go Miss Privilege, your faithful followers have your back. In a heartbeat.

    Sending you a smile,
    tp

  • 05/10/10
    5:55 pm

    Reply

    Anne said...

    Bravo! You've inspired me, LPC–am planning a trip to Neiman's makeup counter this week. If only there were a darling but tantrum-prone toddler in your story. She may be more daunting than the counter "artists." Then again, perhaps she will scare them off!

    I, too, LOVE Dior Show….but it does smudge under my eyes by the end of the day. Not as much as other brands, but if I am missing something, I hope that you and your clever readers will let me know.

  • 05/12/10
    8:32 am

    Reply

    Jill said...

    Night Fairy! I have a friend who has just gained a new nickname!! Thanks, LPC.

  • 05/17/10
    7:20 am

    Reply

    Vie said...

    What a fun reading! i totally enjoyed it :)

  • 06/14/10
    7:13 pm

    Reply

    abba said...

    I am totally agree with vie that the whole content is really interesting and also funny. I have enjoyed a lot reading this article. Though the ways are not helpful to experience the best.
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  1. […] with my makeup choices. It was only two years ago that I was having my eyelids brutalized by Eastern European makeup artists. I have you all to thank for my newfound courage. Had I found it in my pretty days who knows what […]

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