How To Get "Tunic" Arms


In our recent discussion of the hunt for tunics, many of you commiserated with my desire to stop sucking in my stomach. “Enough already,” we said. “We just want to breathe as nature intended.”

However, many of you also expressed concern over revealing your arms. I believe I have found a solution.

And, now that you have had a moment to reconstitute yourself from the puddle of laughter into which I threw you, so unceremoniously, let me confirm. Yes. That is a ShakeWeight.

Celebrated on infomercials, so beloved by Ellen DeGeneres that she has made it a recurrent meme on her afternoon television show, and rife with opportunity for bawdy jokes.

The ShakeWeight. And I bought one. And I use it. And I think it actually works.

Anticipating your next question, no. No, High WASPs do not generally recommend the acquisition of infomercial goods. But Sturdy Gals, known in their youth for sufficient strength to carry tables, celebrated for their biceps, and now mourning the loss of said musculature, are granted dispensation. We take Queen Victoria as our model, muster up our inner Grande Dame, and say under our collective breath, “We will if we want to.”

Good triceps take one a long way down the quiet halls of aging. Do not go gently. ShakeWeight.

No compensation was received for this post. I thought about trying to make the links to Amazon the kind that give me $0.12 every time they are used, but I used up any brash I’ve got posting the link to SNL.

33 Comments

  • 06/16/10
    9:11 am

    Reply

    Jan said...

    I've seen that on television; it seemed like it might work.

    Then Beloved offered the opinion that I didn't need a weight to do that exercise and…well, there's a man for you. Bawdy doesn't even begin to describe it.

  • 06/16/10
    9:12 am

    Reply

    Deja Pseu said...

    How funny! The movements are definitely suggestive, especially when performed by a shirtless, oiled, muscular guy. Cue the 70's gay p0rno music….

    I think my upper arms are beyond redemption, though.

  • 06/16/10
    9:14 am

    Reply

    Queen of Cashmere said...

    I laughed so hard at the Shake Weight infomercials with my son. They are soooo suggestive or do we just have dirty minds? However, if it works it might be worth a go. (I actually could use the whole power plate thing though; my arms are the least of it.)
    XOXOX

  • 06/16/10
    9:21 am

    Reply

    moderngrandmas said...

    My daughter just introduced me to your blog and I love it…it's good to find someone in cyberspace around the same age

  • 06/16/10
    9:24 am

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    Tabitha said...

    I'm still laughing at you having used up all of your brash!

  • 06/16/10
    9:32 am

    Reply

    Suburban Princess said...

    You obviously didnt see the SNL take on those ads!

  • 06/16/10
    9:34 am

    Reply

    TC said...

    My niece swears by them. Hope they work, my arms have always been huge but it's muscle covered by fat to put it plainly…..

  • 06/16/10
    9:36 am

    Reply

    High Heeled Life said...

    Hmmm.. they actually work? I will have to explore this further. Thanks for the tip..HHL

  • 06/16/10
    10:16 am

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    Crown + Castle said...

    I need tunic arms and may try this!

  • 06/16/10
    10:23 am

    Reply

    Splurgie said...

    Six minutes? I can do that. Thanks for letting me know about it. I actually hadn't heard of ShakeWeight before. It couldn't hurt and it might even help!

  • 06/16/10
    11:55 am

    Reply

    hostess of the humble bungalow said...

    I must be from another planet as I have never even heard of these before this post!
    I say don't knock it if it works.

  • 06/16/10
    12:09 pm

    Reply

    La Historiadora de Moda said...

    I hadn't heard of these before either, but I almost peed my pants from laughing at the video you linked to. But hey, if they work, who cares about the suggestive movements…

  • 06/16/10
    12:39 pm

    Reply

    Shelley said...

    Gosh, what I miss out on, not living in the US. Highly skeptical about spot reducing, mind. Think I might try shaking a tin of tomatoes and see if my triceps tingle. Look at Madge (this is what Brits call Madonna…has the nickname landed across the pond as well?). She's as fit as they come, but at some age muscles and bones just don't look that great; she looks great in her clothes and personally I think she should keep them on. Who ever thought they'd miss their baby fat? Old fat doesn't work that well either. I'm going to keep at my pushups, but look for sleeves all the same…

  • 06/16/10
    2:06 pm

    Reply

    Sydney Shop Girl said...

    Agree with the Hostess, I won't be knocking it if it works!

    Infomercials also brought us the Huggie. They do have the greater good in mind, sometimes!

    SSG xxx

  • 06/16/10
    3:22 pm

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    Miss Janey said...

    What Deja Pseu said! She's glad to hear it works tho.

  • 06/16/10
    3:58 pm

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    QueenBeeSwain said...

    you crack me up and sometimes, the goofiest things yield the most fabulously shocking results! sidenote, you can breathe easy in regards to the WASP vs infomercial item… one summer, my mom, sis and I were all up at the cottage and on trips for too long, leaving my dad to fend for himself at home and what would we return to but the Ronco Rotisserie, which actually made good chicken, the three times we used it ;)

    xoox

    kHm

  • 06/16/10
    6:56 pm

    Reply

    SLynnRo said...

    That thing seems….violent. It doesn't hurt?

  • 06/16/10
    7:30 pm

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    Buckeroomama said...

    I am very tempted to order these… unfortunately (or fortunately) they don't sell them here yet.

  • 06/16/10
    7:42 pm

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    Lipstick said...

    You know what…I keep hearing people saying they like these things and that they work. I think I am going to get some. I was afraid they would make my hands feel weird, almost tingley with all the shaking…but my goodness, that sounds obscene too.

  • 06/16/10
    8:22 pm

    Reply

    Twenty Four At Heart said...

    Seriously? It works? Of course, I think my arm/shoulder issues make it a no-go for me. You should post before and after results!

  • 06/17/10
    4:28 am

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    Duchesse said...

    Shake it, babylisa mamacita! At all but 62 it is probably too late for me; my arms are melting into crepeburgers. But I just wear sleeveless anyway. Age in not a subject for shame.

  • 06/17/10
    5:23 am

    Reply

    Paula said...

    This isn't just a Shakeweight, this is a formidable picture you took! Great setting. Love your photo-style. Now I want a shakeweight, too.

  • 06/17/10
    7:09 am

    Reply

    MJ said...

    I am wiping the tears from my eyes after watching all 3 of the linked videos – and I don't know which is funniest. I am pretty proud of my arms for my age, since I do a variety of arm exercises with weights, but I could use more help on the triceps. I had never heard of this before, but I may actually go ahead and buy it. If I do, I'll have to decide if I ever use it in the same room as my husband . . . .

  • 06/17/10
    8:16 am

    Reply

    Patsy said...

    OK, that is HYSterical! Although I assume if you hold any 2.5 pound weight at chest height for 6 minutes, it should do the trick.

  • 06/17/10
    2:58 pm

    Reply

    Bumby Scott said...

    Mom has one she loves it.

    Always Bumby

  • 06/17/10
    4:44 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Jan – Well, yes.

    Deja – Well, yes.:)

    QoC – Well, yes, well then:).

    moderngrandmas – You picked quite the post to find us:).

    Tabitha – Ha!

  • 06/17/10
    4:46 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Suburban – Oh but I did…

    TC – It doesn't remove fat, but it does encourage muscle.

    High Heeled – OK!

    Crown & Castle _ Really, I recommend it.

    Splurgie – I read your post! It's great. And I do think strength training is worth the effort. I've lifted weights on and off my whole life, and I know I am better when I do.

  • 06/17/10
    4:48 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    hostess – I guess so far they are US only.

    La Historiadora – Love to provide laughter.

    Shelley – I agree that spot reducing doesn't work. But spot muscle building does, IMO, and helps a lot.

    Sydney – You do yoga, that's great for arms!

    Miss Janey – Thanks.

  • 06/17/10
    4:52 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Queen Bee – Ronco!

    SlynnRo – No, it doesn't hurt:). It's actually a very small movement, and somehow all the muscles get engaged. I was surprised but how much I felt my triceps after 2-3 minutes using it. Really.

    Buckeroomama – One day, one day:).

    Lipstick – Ha!

    Twenty Four – I agree, and I'm sorry.

  • 06/17/10
    4:58 pm

    Reply

    LPC said...

    Duchesse – Ha! And, I agree, no shame. Pride, even.

    Paula- Thank you! I am thrilled when you like my photos.

    MJ – Isn't laughter the best?

    Patsy – I actually think the jiggling does more than a stationary weight. I get bored with the standard hand weights…

    Bumby – How wonderful.

  • 06/18/10
    5:41 am

    Reply

    Anonymous said...

    Lol, so suggestive. May have a second use as a libido booster for the old marriage bed. Who knows what might cross the hubby's mind?

  • 06/25/10
    2:30 pm

    Reply

    Caroline, No. said...

    This is hilarious. I keep wanting to buy some arm weights but can't quite bring myself to do it. I hope you get some brash back soon. x

  • 06/25/10
    2:33 pm

    Reply

    Caroline, No. said...

    Ok I just watched the video. Speechless. And even funnier!

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