The Light Of A Thousand Lacunae, Or, Saturday Morning at 8:11am


I love those moments when time seems to clear a space. The sound of my furnace brings it on. The sky is still overcast in the morning, everything else is quiet.

Doesn’t seem that I need to prepare, or clear away anything myself. A basket of laundry sits on the floor to my right, a bunch of clothes is still in the dryer from last night. The large cast iron skillet needs washing, as does my stovetop, dreadfully.

I have by no means finished Christmas shopping.

Comfort matters. The cushion behind my back is well-positioned, I’ve rested my feet on a Moroccan pouf at a nice angle, my ratty cotton zip-up sweatshirt keeps my neck warm. This all seems so quotidian but it matters.

I can hear my husband breathing.

I suppose it’s the joy of non-lonely solitude. The grace of paying attention to the time, patting each moment as it goes like a sleek cat passing. You can feel bones under the fur, linked, moving.

I know it’s silly, but I feel a small ecstasy even in a sigh.

I never really understood all that stuff about nirvana, despite its popularity when I was a teen. But when time seems to breathe in, and lets me continue to breathe out, and in, and out again, words like hallelujah come to mind.

I know you guys are out there. I know you’ve all got lives, complex lives. It’s amazing to me that you read these words I type out in the morning. I imagine you at your tables, on the street, in the air, and I wish, I hope, if I were magic I’d make it true, that you get one moment of quiet and generous solitude. Today. Tomorrow.

They fade, these lacunae. That sense of glory, it passes and the crows start up and no one has washed the dirty pans. I don’t feel repaid for anxiety and grief and rages and drudgery. More like if I could just raise up a little higher, I’d see us all glowing in light that — here — only shows through pinpricks on a Saturday morning.

Have a wonderful weekend.

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22 Comments

  • 12/05/15
    8:59 am

    Reply

    Jane said...

    Thank you!

    12/05/15
    9:49 am
    Lisa said...

    @Jane, You are welcome!

  • 12/05/15
    9:16 am

    Reply

    dottoressa said...

    It is magic!
    Dottoressa <3

    12/05/15
    9:49 am
    Lisa said...

    @dottoressa, ✨

  • 12/05/15
    9:25 am

    Reply

    Marie said...

    Beautiful and eloquent, Lisa! I will have to watch for those moments. My brain seems to be always occupied with the laundry (I have a basket to fold, too), work, cooking and shopping, and helping my son through his senior year.

    12/05/15
    9:49 am
    Lisa said...

    @Marie, Thank you. I hope the moment finds you.

  • 12/05/15
    9:41 am

    Reply

    Kathy said...

    Very beautiful post. I’m going to try to appreciate these moments as I recover from this horrible virus.

    12/05/15
    9:50 am
    Lisa said...

    @Kathy, Thank you. <3

  • 12/05/15
    9:58 am

    Reply

    JB said...

    ahhhhhh

    12/05/15
    12:33 pm
    Lisa said...

    @JB, xox

  • 12/05/15
    11:37 am

    Reply

    Mary Anne said...

    We all need to appreciate such moments. Well done.

    12/05/15
    12:34 pm
    Lisa said...

    @Mary Anne, Thank you.

  • 12/05/15
    1:12 pm

    Reply

    Frances/Materfamilias said...

    Yes! Just lovely, and so in tune with what our yoga instructor suggested this morning if we wanted to “take our practice of the mat”: When we catch ourselves wanting more, wanting to do more, allowing discontent, she suggested taking a breath, slowing down, and being grateful for what we have, specifically, in the moment. Moving from there to contentment. Sounds simple, or even simplistic, but if it could only become a habit. . . Happy Saturday! Thank you!

    12/05/15
    4:03 pm
    Frances/Materfamilias said...

    Just back to say I’m still thinking of how you’ve stretched my understanding of lacunae which I generally imagine as lacking, as gaps, as dark, I guess, rather than light. Reframing in progress. . .

    12/06/15
    8:35 am
    Lisa said...

    @Frances/Materfamilias, I’ve recently taken yoga back up and it is really helping me find more of this. And lacunae, the word came to me, but I wasn’t sure it was apt, so I looked it up. It’s the musical meaning that’s closest to what I was looking for. When you just heard something, the sound is still vibrating, and what is about to happen is somehow happening in the pause in advance. Time slip, in a sense.

    12/06/15
    10:45 am
    Frances/Materfamilias said...

    I love that, perfect. . . and I sometimes get such moments in an afternoon, on my own, such plenitude, yet simplicity.

    12/06/15
    7:58 pm
    Lisa said...

    <3

  • 12/05/15
    1:47 pm

    Reply

    Den said...

    Well said or do I say great post! Thanks Den

    12/06/15
    8:31 am
    Lisa said...

    @Den, Many thanks in return.

  • 12/05/15
    2:37 pm

    Reply

    Maria said...

    Lovely words, thank you. I am working on finding the joy in the everyday and quietening my thoughts so your words resonate with me as they often do. How this can be so, when we are in different hemispheres enjoying different seasons, is wonderful.

    12/06/15
    8:31 am
    Lisa said...

    @Maria, This made me pause, and think. Yes, that our lives are so entwined with the seasons and yet happen so much on another calendar altogether.

  • 12/05/15
    4:58 pm

    Reply

    Susan said...

    Well stated.
    Susan

    12/06/15
    8:32 am
    Lisa said...

    @Susan, xox

  • 12/05/15
    5:27 pm

    Reply

    Candace said...

    *Sigh*
    Creating a visual of your description, breathing slower and relaxing. Thank you!

    12/06/15
    8:32 am
    Lisa said...

    @Candace, You are so welcome:).

  • 12/05/15
    8:01 pm

    Reply

    Bungalow Hostess said...

    Sounds like you are living in the moment…and loving it.

    12/06/15
    8:32 am
    Lisa said...

    @Bungalow Hostess, It was so unusual that the moment expanded enough to let me sit in it for a while.

  • 12/05/15
    8:25 pm

    Reply

    Susan Coleman said...

    Lovely post…. thank you.

    12/06/15
    8:33 am
    Lisa said...

    @Susan Coleman, xoxo

  • 12/06/15
    1:46 am

    Reply

    Mary said...

    Wise men know the art of being takes a lifetime to perfect. As I age and slow down I find just being is more than enough to please me to my very core.

    12/06/15
    8:33 am
    Lisa said...

    @Mary, Beautifully put.

  • 12/06/15
    5:27 am

    Reply

    Mardel Fehrenbach said...

    Lovely! And so perfectly capturing that quiet joy that I am often most in tune to in the mornings, but which is really there, just waiting for us to slow down and allow ourselves to breath, deeply and slowly.

    12/06/15
    8:33 am
    Lisa said...

    @Mardel Fehrenbach, It is so related to breath, I agree.

  • 12/06/15
    6:24 am

    Reply

    Margy Houtz said...

    How beautiful, Lisa! Thank you for the reminder.

    12/06/15
    8:36 am
    Lisa said...

    @Margy Houtz, Thank you. My pleasure.

  • 12/06/15
    6:48 am

    Reply

    Sue Burpee said...

    Thanks for this Lisa. I’m sitting reading your post, as my own furnace kicks on, with my own husband, uncharacteristically, still sleeping…guess I’m in my own little Sunday morning lacuna. New word for me. Love the cat image. Beautifully written, btw.

    12/06/15
    8:37 am
    Lisa said...

    @Sue Burpee, Thank you. And thanks for sharing your own furnace peace in return:).

  • 12/07/15
    5:27 pm

    Reply

    Paula said...

    Thank you for this gift, Lisa. Beautiful post.

    12/21/15
    9:00 am
    Lisa said...

    @Paula, <3

  • 12/08/15
    9:29 am

    Reply

    Kathryn Fenner said...

    I have been so busy doing the sort of community activism that involves long stretches of listening to idiots. I have had to go to number of parties…not my thing. I needed to read this! It really helps!

    12/21/15
    9:00 am
    Lisa said...

    @Kathryn Fenner, My privilege.

  • 12/08/15
    6:10 pm

    Reply

    Cheryl said...

    How beautifully written. The magic is, indeed, in those “in between” moments . . . and our senses are usually too dulled or overstimulated to notice. By taking these moments we can possibly find the holy in the mundane. Thank you!

    12/21/15
    9:01 am
    Lisa said...

    @Cheryl, The holy in the mundane. Thank you.

  • 12/21/15
    2:07 am

    Reply

    Cathi said...

    Every time I come back to read this post, I’m lost for what I want to say in reply, but I am at peace. I’m ok with that.

    12/21/15
    9:02 am
    Lisa said...

    @Cathi, I’m so honored you return. No need to say anything, but I am glad you did.

  • 12/21/15
    11:40 am

    Reply

    Kristin said...

    Reading this so late, but it came at just the right moment for me. Sending you lots of light today.

    12/21/15
    4:22 pm
    Lisa said...

    @Kristin, And to you.

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