I hired someone to come every other week and clean my house. I managed two good walks. I cooked an actual dinner, twice. And so life flirts with normal. I am in no way ready to say we’re clear, my mom is not yet stabilized, too many factors in flux. I’ll take one moment.
Which brings up a question – how to approach life when you’ve just been through a series of emergencies? Better to focus on optimism? Enjoy the calm even if it may disappear like grass on fire? Or better to wake up in a state of high alert, imagining the worst cases and living through them in advance. Hmm.
I do understand the principle of yogic calm. Live in the moment. I think that works really well for general anxiety and modern discomfort. But during prolonged difficulty, you have to review the past for hints of a pattern, observe the present for data, and forecast a future. Or, futures with an S, because nothing is yet certain.
I guess that’s the nature of emergencies. Nothing is yet certain.
Here’s something else. The ebbing of distress feels good. When you’ve been flat out coping, and then you have time to actually take a walk, or, hey, get your house cleaned, or restake that olive tree that you worry that it isn’t getting enough sunlight, regular tasks feel like little jigs.
I’m not going to argue that everyone should go out and get themselves a crisis, but, maybe, as recompense for all this work, in future my being can better acknowledge the underlying layer of non-pain of my usual life.
Have a good weekend everyone. Deep breaths all around.