If you look back at this week you will see that my plan to keep blogging as though my mother weren’t moving into assisted living, her house did not need to be shown to property management companies, the furniture did not need to be reviewed for an estate sale, failed.
You are not dummies.
We won’t go into details. The stories don’t belong to me. However.
I have learned that a series of pretty dang awful things can happen, that one should never say, “It’s going as well as can be expected” because then it won’t. And yet one foot can still be put in front of the next. And yet the people you love and value really come through in a pinch and you probably knew that in the back of your mind when you came to love and value them.
These are not revelations of a dramatic nature.
But there’s a lot of headroom in life. You can keep stepping up a lot of stairs of adversity, really, all the way to the floor of “I am NOT going to see the good in this, guys,” before you bump into the ceiling. So far my family is still standing up straight. I’m not going to say we’re lucky, or “At least not this other thing,” because while I’m more of a dummy than you guys I’m not a complete dodo and stuff does just keep happening. Focusing now on far less taking good fortune for granted and far fewer premature sighs of relief.
Dodo brain. That’s the phrase we used to say when we were little. Probably my mom invented it? But I’m suddenly aware of what that means. I guess dodos hit the ceiling. I’m so sorry dodos, you guys had a real reason to complain.
I know people talk about descending to the depths but to me it feels more like you keep going up. One foot, another foot. Pause, sleep, sigh, vent, hug, another foot.
Today I’m taking off from hospitals, insurance, finances, contracts, and Walgreen runs. I plan to go on a long walk across a hill with my husband.
I can’t say we’ve been lucky these past several days, but the fuchsias are blooming wildly and I’m feeling grateful. Probably because I got some sleep last night and it’s 8:36am and I’m still sitting on my sofa.
Have a very good weekend. I do in fact have two blog posts underway, and I will in fact be talking about candles and sunglasses again soon.