Your Emergency Response Is Your Mirror, Or, Saturday Morning at 7:50am


Let’s see, today is Saturday, right? So, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, four days since the US election. You all may be elated, you may be in mourning, maybe angry, maybe trying to calm down. You’ve been bombarded by news about this event and by other people’s difficult feelings about it.

So today I am not going to discuss America’s election directly.

However.

When you are 60 you develop a certain capacity for self-observation. As though your blood and guts and feelings shrink away from the racing neurons of thought, leaving space. I’ve been observing my reaction to the events of November 8th and I’ve learned something about myself. Maybe you’ve done the same.

From the time I woke up in the middle of the night to check the results until maybe some time yesterday afternoon I felt kind of like I did on 9/11. Don’t get all wound up, I’m not saying the events were the same, but my feelings were. Apocalyptic.

However on 9/11 it was clear to me that I had no agency. I didn’t cause it, I couldn’t fix it. I planted a red, white and blue flower bed, finding comfort in the fact that for a brief while we all wanted to wave the flag. And then, what with children at home and a job in an office, I moved on.

This time I feel that I can have an impact. And that changes everything.

It was so fascinating guys, at least for anyone who is a student of the processes of self. My first impulse was to analyze. I didn’t cry, or mourn. I wanted numbers. I needed a data-driven picture in my mind of what had happened. Who, where, why? I read on Twitter, and in the media, voraciously.

But concurrently, I had to speak out to able to comprehend. Almost as though my words precede my understanding. Again on Twitter. My fingers were flying. Apparently I think by talking. Who knew? Oh, yeah, you guys.

Finally, I needed to know what I was going to do. Action also makes me feel better in times of emergency. I needed a plan, and the plan needed me to tack a conceptual model on the virtual wall. So I did, over here. Only go read that if you feel as I do about this election, otherwise it’s going to make you mad and/or tired.

So, this is a lot of talking about the fairly inconsequential emotional and cognitive responses of a newly-old white lady with financial resources living in a liberal enclave of the United States. Not, perhaps, of universal value.

But you, you are of value. You and how you respond to these events, and your feelings about these events, and most importantly, your understanding of your feelings about these events, you matter.

One more piece of self-analysis, that I won’t do here but think about a lot. What are the emotional underpinnings of my political beliefs? Not this candidate, or that policy, but how do my deep convictions about human nature guide my opinions? I ask you the same question about yourself.

I feel sure that ignorance is bad, clarity is good. Even experiences of great pain, as long as they aren’t so bad that you shut down, bring us clarity. Pay some attention to what you feel, and don’t take the easy answer for why. Examine. Deconstruct. And, then, if you have time and space in your life, act.

On to the weekend. My best affection to all of you.

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33 Comments

  • 11/12/16
    9:26 am

    Reply

    Susan D. said...

    Like you, I did not cry and wanted the numbers and beyond that the analysis which I am still exploring. I do think being over 60 does give me some perspective. I’ll be looking for the places where I can make a difference.

    At my most hopeful, I find myself thinking that MAYBE this ugly ugly election COULD bring our citizens together. How would this happen? I’m not quite sure yet.

    And here’s another thought. As long as discussing issues (political) remains taboo, there will be little bridging of the gap.

    11/12/16
    10:29 am
    Lisa said...

    @Susan D., “At my most hopeful, I find myself thinking that MAYBE this ugly ugly election COULD bring our citizens together. How would this happen? I’m not quite sure yet.” I hope so too. You can’t fix what you don’t know is broke.

  • 11/12/16
    9:39 am

    Reply

    Sue Burpee said...

    Thanks, Lisa. Guess we’re all feeling a bit overwhelmed this week. I think it’s ironic that I wrote a post yesterday on stress, and what I’m doing this week to cope with it. Including unplugging from all the ranting on Facebook et al. And hello mama… among the comments I had a few rants. Chiding me for… feeling stress. Huh? It upset me a bit at first. Then I decamped to the bedroom to do some power vacuuming and dusting… and now I’m chuckling. And channeling Michelle Obama… “when they go low we go high.”

    11/12/16
    10:30 am
    Lisa said...

    @Sue Burpee, I’ll be up there as high as I can with you, at least here on these pages;). So sorry someone took you to task in unproductive ways:(.

  • 11/12/16
    9:46 am

    Reply

    Kristina said...

    Both of our college student daughters have come home to join us for a long mountain weekend. I had a long chat with daughter #2 on the trip home from retrieving her from college, and another conversation with #1 on the journey up the mountain. They both feel fear for their futures, and look to me for what to DO about it all. I told them I couldn’t speak for what they should do, but I plan to not pick fights but stand up for what I believe when the situation demands it. And bolster the institutions which support social justice. What I’m getting from them is that there are lots of earnest intelligent young people who are now reevaluating their career paths to put themselves in the position to be leaders in the world they would like to live in.

    11/12/16
    10:03 am
    Amy Berler said...

    Bravo Kristina! With four kids of my own I second your approach and am evaluating what I can be doing to support those “kids” in developing the skills and access they will need…

    11/12/16
    10:31 am
    Lisa said...

    @Kristina, “What I’m getting from them is that there are lots of earnest intelligent young people who are now reevaluating their career paths to put themselves in the position to be leaders in the world they would like to live in.” So incredibly heartening. I don’t pick fights either, but, I’m OK with a long pitched strategic battle.

  • 11/12/16
    10:04 am

    Reply

    Leslie K said...

    Yes, like 9/11. It’s similar to my feelings after my father died – angry, untethered, afraid, anxious, despairing and tremendously sad and prone to crying at random moments. As awful as these feelings are, I know they will spur me to action.

    My fear and anxiety pale next to my housekeeper’s who is inconsolable. She and her children are citizens but her husband is not. She worries he will be sent to Mexico. The children at her daughter’s school were so upset that the school held an assembly in an effort to calm them. Her son is afraid that his Dreamer friends who registered with DACA will be sent away. My fight will start for those who have fewer resources, and so much more to lose, than I.

    11/12/16
    10:36 am
    Lisa said...

    @Leslie K, “It’s similar to my feelings after my father died – angry, untethered, afraid, anxious, despairing and tremendously sad and prone to crying at random moments. As awful as these feelings are, I know they will spur me to action.” Ah, yes. I knew I’d gotten to the next stage when I finally began the random crying. Have moved on to planning for action largely because it feels so much better.

    11/12/16
    10:36 am
    Susan D. said...

    @Leslie K, Leslie, Our housekeeper of 25+ years, who is African American, voted for Trump, along with her husband who is a man we know well. I was devastated by that, and tried, some weeks ago, to persuade her not to vote for Trump. Her hatred of Hispanics influenced her vote. Don’t even get me started on that. I find myself being SO angry (which is unlike me) that I have considered telling her that we no longer need her (without giving a reason.) It is NOT a good time.

  • 11/12/16
    10:05 am

    Reply

    Marilyn said...

    Loved your analogy and your strategy. As Canadians, we are outside the walls and can only watch from the sidelines. What we can offer, though, is our support and compassion for those who need it. As I’m reminding my American friends, your country has always had enormous talent for ultimately “getting it right”.

    11/12/16
    10:36 am
    Lisa said...

    @Marilyn, “As I’m reminding my American friends, your country has always had enormous talent for ultimately “getting it right”.” Thank you. We need to retrieve our optimism. The voice of support from other countries is remarkably helpful.

  • 11/12/16
    10:31 am

    Reply

    Cathy Bonnett said...

    I’m very, very sad. Tired. I have a chest cold. I read your link and liked it. Protecting the most vulnerable.
    Thank you, I was hoping you would touch on this topic.
    Cathy

    11/12/16
    10:40 am
    Lisa said...

    @Cathy Bonnett, Take care of yourself. Sometimes we ourselves are the most vulnerable. I’m glad you liked the link. If I have to write to process, I can only hope the writings will be useful.

  • 11/12/16
    10:46 am

    Reply

    Leslie K said...

    I had another thought. Though the pain and anger are raw, I think at some point I need to try to understand what drove Trump’s supporters. I hope there is a common ground – one that can lead to positive changes without resort to scapegoating those who are “other.”

    And, thank you Lisa for such a thoughtful and thought-provoking post. Once again. xxx

    11/12/16
    11:22 am
    Lisa said...

    @Leslie K, Thank you in return. Yes, understand what drove the Trump supporters so the plan can include addressing any needs they have that do not require bigotry, cruelty, or violence.

    11/12/16
    7:58 pm
    Kim said...

    Re: Being surprised by the outcome

    PBS has a test to determine if you live in a bubble separated from the rest of America. It’s eye-opening.

    http://www.pbs.org/newshour/making-sense/do-you-live-in-a-bubble-a-quiz-2/

  • 11/12/16
    10:51 am

    Reply

    Kris Lindquist said...

    Loved the link! Made me feel that I can do something positive. I’m still frightened for the future but am going to do everything in my power to obstruct evil where ever I can. THANK YOU!!

    11/12/16
    11:23 am
    Lisa said...

    @Kris Lindquist, You are so welcome. The first job is to help everyone find their path, without necessarily telling them to “think positive.” Some of us cannot, but, we can retrieve our optimism in action. <3

  • 11/12/16
    10:57 am

    Reply

    Cathy Baird said...

    Today I am using my last name here for the first time, which feels significant. Unlike you, Lisa, I had to read and absorb and check in with my feelings at intervals (which is a habit I’m still developing late in life) before saying much.

    I am still reading and absorbing, but I have determined that the actions I will take will be measured against my core belief in human rights and human dignity. I already “do” some things in this area, but I plan to do more as opportunities reveal themselves.

    As a cis hetero white woman past reproductive age, I feel that I have little to lose from speaking and acting on my convictions and that I need to stand with those who have plenty to lose.

    One of the first things I plan to do is increase my work with some Spanish-speaking women who are learning English and other subjects. (Secret: It’s a lot of fun. But it also empowers them.)

    11/12/16
    11:25 am
    Lisa said...

    @Cathy Baird, “As a cis hetero white woman past reproductive age, I feel that I have little to lose from speaking and acting on my convictions and that I need to stand with those who have plenty to lose.” As you can imagine, I feel the same way. I feel proud to know you.

    Maybe the point of Privilege is that I can arrive at 60, survive a divorce and a mother in extreme distress, with some energy left for more.

  • 11/12/16
    11:42 am

    Reply

    Frances/Materfamilias said...

    Yes. Right to the heart of the matter. Your question about what forms the bedrock of our politics — so important. For many of us, there is so much we’ve absorbed unconsciously and powerful, unquestioned old allegiances form strong barriers to reason or change or listening to other positions. Good to be aware, if not always easy. And some of those old allegiances are marvelously powerful sources of strength. Which to ditch, which to nurture. Again, awareness is worthwhile but takes some work.
    I love that we’re buckling down to do that work, many of us, and I love the Power that you’ve articulated so cogently here: Being Over 60 lets us know ourselves and feel comfortable acting on that knowledge.
    There’s been some ugliness in Social Media of late, as there seems to be everywhere at the moment, but the thoughtful solidarity I find here guides and reassures and nurtures and inspires. Thank you!

    11/16/16
    7:32 am
    Lisa said...

    @Frances/Materfamilias, It is time to act as the Elders we are. “Being Over 60 lets us know ourselves and feel comfortable acting on that knowledge.”

  • 11/12/16
    12:13 pm

    Reply

    Danielle said...

    Thank you for this, Lisa, and for your post linked here. It’s wonderful to read your writing on other topics. We can use your experience and perspective.

    As a white Jewish liberal my response was shock and then fear. Intense fear that I have not experienced much before, fear that “they” would come for me and take me away. It is not logical, but I was raised in an area with many holocaust survivors, and learned specifics about that event from a young age. Compounded by the fact that Wednesday was the anniversary of Kristallnacht, and swastikas were spray-painted in Philadelphia that day, I was terrified that I had woken up in 1939 and “they” were coming to get me.

    Subsequent days have been better/easier, still intermittent shock but also anger, which is better for me because it brings with it the energy to move, act, reach out and help.

    I am so sad for this country though. And for the little baby I’m growing – what kind of country will it inherit?

    Thank you for making this a safe place.

    11/12/16
    3:26 pm
    Anon for This said...

    @Danielle, Trump’s son-in-law is an Orthodox Jewish man, and his daughter Ivanka converted to Judaism prior to their marriage.

    I am seeing Jewish people on social media saying they are scared of being rounded up, and I have to ask where this notion is coming from.

    The hyperbole around what Trump has said is off the charts. He didn’t even say he wants to ban Muslims forever. He wanted a temporary ban until they could be vetted and a better vetting process. Europe didn’t do this with the refugees and the results haven’t been good.

    The Mexican issue is something that has been under discussion in our country for a long time prior to Trump. People keep saying he’s against immigrants. No, it’s illegal immigrants and he’s bothered by the fact that some violent criminals have come across the border. He never once said all Mexicans are violent – he has employed them himself.

    A lot of people on the Left only hear his words through the media they consume rather than listening to him directly.

    I’m not telling anyone what their stance should be on illegal immigrants, but to say there is going to be a wholesale roundup of anyone who isn’t White is just too much.

    11/12/16
    3:46 pm
    Kathy said...

    I think the reason that Danielle is feeling this way, as am I, is that Trump’s rise to power, mimicked Hitler’s rise to power in Germany. The media has drawn lots of parallels to the tactics, including pandering to people’s fears about their country by pointing fingers at the “others”. This is always a slippery slope.

    11/16/16
    7:33 am
    Lisa said...

    @Danielle, As Kathy says, the parallels are scary. And the Holocaust will never be forgotten.

    Trump is in fact still promising a roundup. And the ACLU is publishing legal memos on why that will not be possible.

  • 11/12/16
    12:15 pm

    Reply

    Deede said...

    My feelings are still raw and hurting…I have turned off the tv.for the beginning of my own healing…I just can’s listen…I am trying to remain in the moment not past or future thoughts allowed…The day will come when my old kick ass self will get up and fight back…For now, patience and kindness are the prescription… Time and hope are the cure…
    9/11 America lost its innocence
    11/9 America lost its normalcy and its way

    11/16/16
    7:31 am
    Lisa said...

    @Deede, <3. It will get better, we will make sure of that.

  • 11/12/16
    12:28 pm

    Reply

    Olivia said...

    In my own quest to understand “Why?”, I have found the words of filmmaker Michael Moore to be extremely helpful. He predicted the outcome of the election back in the summer, and was laughed at. I went back and read his article on the subject (you can Google it), and also watched an amazing segment on Morning Joe this week (not my favorite show usually) with him as guest. He articulates the point of view of the Rust Belt state supporters whose vote decided the election, with eloquence. I actually came away from the Morning Joe segment more optimistic than I ever would have believed.

    11/12/16
    3:37 pm
    Lorraine said...

    @Olivia, The bottom line is that people suffering in the Rust Belt were not going to elect a president that supports NAFTA and the TPP and who was financed by the same Wall Street that got our economy into a mess. What? They’re going to fix it this time?

    They’ve lived under that and it hasn’t worked out for them at all.

    The only chance the DNC had to bring in the votes of these people was to run Bernie Sanders, and they blew it.

    Everyone should watch this video by a journalist with The Young Turks. Unlike the coastal elite media, he spent time in the Rust Belt and he explains their side.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfxJXEV2-fk

    Personally, I’m as infuriated as he is at the callousness toward these people. Both the Left and Right have ignored them. This time, the Left had the perfect candidate that addressed their ills and refused to run him.

    The DNC was more interested in making history than making policy.

    11/12/16
    4:57 pm
    Gloria said...

    Lorraine has it exactly right about most of America.

    The DNC did not serve it’s constituents. They fraudulently blocked other candidates…perhaps other women for all we know. Why champion such a flawed candidate ? The repercussions are enormous.

    If you are a democrat, don’t be mad at your neighbor who might have voted differently from you. Direct your ire at the leaders of your party WHO DID NOT HAVE YOUR INTERESTS IN MIND.

    11/13/16
    10:10 am
    mary said...

    @Olivia, @Gloria I completely agree.

    11/16/16
    7:34 am
    Lisa said...

    @Olivia, I completely agree;).

  • 11/12/16
    2:31 pm

    Reply

    Loretta said...

    Maybe we needed this to jolt us out of our complacency and get us to think for ourselves and, more importantly, take action to organize, volunteer, and become responsible for our communities and government. We can no longer look to the leaders or the media who failed to see how this was playing out. We are responsible for our own society. Our leaders, our pundits, our forecasters, and our analysts have all failed us. We ourselves are responsible.

    11/13/16
    11:00 am
    Lisa said...

    @Loretta, “We are responsible for our own society.” Yes. Yes we are.

  • 11/12/16
    3:10 pm

    Reply

    Pamela said...

    Beautiful, beautiful post.
    Knives hidden in our skirts indeed!!!!

    11/13/16
    11:01 am
    Lisa said...

    @Pamela, Thank you. Images sometimes insist they be freed.

  • 11/12/16
    3:54 pm

    Reply

    Kathy said...

    I did burst into tears, probably because my daughter and granddaughter were crying. We all expected a big victory. I too, needed to understand “what happened?” and even how the polls could have been so wrong. I am now in an angrier place and yes, have taken some action by donating to various organizations. I will do something more significant when it becomes clearer to me where I can do the most good. Thank you for this post Lisa, I know it’s always taking a risk to talk about politics and to expose your own viewpoint. I admire your courage tremendously….and am so glad you didn’t just go on with a fashion post or whatever. It makes me feel that there’s so much authenticity in your blog. xo

    11/12/16
    5:04 pm
    Gloria said...

    Your granddaughter was crying ? I hope this child was a teenager….not a little tyke. Have we all lost our minds ? This will sort itself out…but in the meantime why are we allowing very young children to become so very frightened by our adult situations. Why aren’t we protecting their peace of mind during this turmoil ?

    11/12/16
    6:40 pm
    Kathy said...

    No, only 3 years old, but was a big fan of Hillary’s and had been campaigning for her with her mom. She’s not frightened, but she was disappointed, that’s all. She was fine 10 mins later.

    11/13/16
    11:04 am
    Lisa said...

    @Kathy, I wholly understand why your granddaughter was listening. We didn’t know what was coming. Now we do, now we protect.

  • 11/12/16
    4:34 pm

    Reply

    Susan said...

    Sadly, this election and the result is all about unknowns. Unknowns bring an unsettled feeling. During the debates barbs were thrown. Hard core issues were not debated. Sadly. Candidates said what they said to win votes. The Press did not do their job. If they had, candidates would have been pushed to address issues. Many did not like either candidate. Personally, I am in a “wait and see” mode.

    11/13/16
    11:05 am
    Lisa said...

    @Susan, I think we are all now trying to figure out what this means, as you say. How much we act in this time probably depends on our patience;).

  • 11/13/16
    7:13 am

    Reply

    dottoressa said...

    Living in Europe,you might say it is not my business-you might be right,but only to some extent-what happens in US has a great impact on the world,on everyone living even here.
    I am not familiar with all the details (and in my profession we need as much information as possible) ,but one must recognize emergency situation that requires instant action and help- “women and children first” (whoever that might be in this situation).
    I believe in human rights,social justice,health care access,in doing good,being kind,in honesty,integrity and benevolence-but it is hard to figure out that “common sense is not so common” as we think it is.
    As you may know,we had The War of Independence 25 years ago. Neighbours became enemies,people were killed,injured,lost their homes…..life went on. We had to carry on-helping people in need,children,old person,special need person….
    We remember,we don’t forget ,but our capacity to help grew-there are always people in need,floods,refugees…..
    You just have to start,it is much easier the next time.
    “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”
    Dottoressa

    11/13/16
    11:10 am
    Lisa said...

    @dottoressa, “As you may know,we had The War of Independence 25 years ago. Neighbours became enemies,people were killed,injured,lost their homes…..life went on. We had to carry on-helping people in need,children,old person,special need person….
    We remember,we don’t forget ,but our capacity to help grew…” I am focused on how our capacity to help can grow. In many many ways. Thank you for giving us this perspective from a country that went through war, not too long ago.

  • 11/13/16
    8:00 am

    Reply

    Carol said...

    Thank you for your openness and for providing the opportunity for people to share their thoughts and feelings. I appreciate hearing the various perspectives from around the world. I was devastated by this vote. As a psychologist, I worked all week with people who were terrified that this outcome was an expression of hatred toward them as LGBTQ, Muslim, Jewish, disabled, being an immigrant or loving a person who is an immigrant, or as a subscriber of Obamacare. In 30 years of clinical practice, I have never had a week like this, not even after 9/11. To a person, my patients all came to the same conclusion as you. They realized they had taken their freedoms for granted, and re-committed to fighting for social justice.

    I have struggled to understand the perspective of Trump voters, because I do not believe that half of the country is racist. Here is what I think: Trump voters have tuned out the racist parts (or blamed it on distortions in the media), they want an outsider who will stimulate the economy and bring jobs to areas of the country that have been neglected. I think we can all agree that it would be marvelous to bring more prosperity to all areas in our nation. There are people whose deeply held religious values are not represented by rights to abortion and gay marriage. There was no candidate who represented these views, so Pence was their best shot.

    At the same time, the “alt-right”, white supremacist minority is quite energized by Trump. Hate crimes are starting, as they did after the Brexit vote. Minorities are terrified. Jews are terrified because they have seen this before. While Trump may have 2 Jews in his family, he has unleashed white supremacists, who are anti-Muslim and anti-semitic.

    We need a president who speaks out against hate. Words matter. Manners matter. Laws matter. I hope that voters on all sides will speak out against hatred, and will not blame the media for reporting hate crimes and prejudice. Trump does want approval, and if voters on all sides call on him to spur the economy and stop the incendiary language, we will all benefit.

    I trust the strength of our democracy and our free press. I trust in the goodness of the vast majority of people. I will be supporting the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Anti-Defamation League. I will be joining “Not in our Town”, a group that fights racism, and promotes acceptance and communication at the local level.

    Finally, the one thing that cannot recover from this vote is the planet. Putting a climate denier in charge of the EPA will cause devastating damage and cost an unimaginable fortune. Rising sea levels and loss of coastal homes and businesses, repairs from storm damage, loss of businesses. I haven’t figured out my advocacy approach on this one yet.

    11/13/16
    11:28 am
    Lisa said...

    @Carol, I agree with everything you say, from a probable cause for the election results, to the assessment is that climate change is irremediable. I only only add that so would be harm done to small children who were forced to return home to countries that can’t support them even in basic life. Perhaps what you say, here, “Trump does want approval, and if voters on all sides call on him to spur the economy and stop the incendiary language, we will all benefit,” is an action all sides, all “pews” as Patricia says below, can agree on.

  • 11/13/16
    8:15 am

    Reply

    Lilian said...

    Thank you, Lisa, for articulating so well what we must do to guard our own. I’m encouraged by the fact that Kerry’s loss in 2004 gave us Obama and a whole bunch of new progressive leaders who are nothing if not exceptional. Seeing Kamala, Tammy, Maggie, Keith Ellison et. al as our future means that we’re revamping and raising a formidable force for 2018 and 2020.
    It’s four more years, but we can do it.

    11/13/16
    11:29 am
    Lisa said...

    @Lilian, We can do it. I agree.

  • 11/13/16
    8:18 am

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    LA CONTESSA said...

    newly-old white lady

    YOU FORGOT EDUCATED!!!!!!!!

    11/13/16
    11:30 am
    Lisa said...

    @LA CONTESSA, I can’t tell you how disturbed I am that “elite” has come to mean, “sufficiently educated to have a shot at success.” I understand the resentment of success, but resentment at education is going to lead nowhere good. One of the things we can do is double down on community colleges and state colleges, so that more and more people can be both trained for better jobs and educated on the wide, wide world.

    11/16/16
    3:56 am
    Lorraine said...

    Lisa, I don’t think it’s resentment of success.

    You can give everyone in this country a college degree and there will never be enough white collar jobs for them to fill.

    The resentment for the word “elite” is that the elite have been in the position of creating policies that they directly benefit from, while creating policies that directly hurt blue collar people.

    For instance, because there are policies that limit the circumstances by which a physician trainer overseas can practice in the U.S., competition is eliminated and our physicians earn twice what they would if we allowed foreign-trained physicians to practice here.

    That is a form of protectionism that blue collar workers are not afforded. We limit the influx of white collar workers a lot more than blue collar.

    This is because white collar people make the law and blue collar people don’t. You can’t say it’s fair.

    11/16/16
    7:37 am
    Lisa said...

    @Lorraine “This is because white collar people make the law and blue collar people don’t. You can’t say it’s fair.” Oh but I can, because I believe that people can be fully capable of operating in the in the interests of those who are less fortunate. I don’t think it’s that the elite don’t care about the less fortunate, I think it’s that they have care most about the least fortunate, the people damaged by slavery, the women beaten by their husbands, the children here illegally with poverty waiting back home. The elite hasn’t thought the blue collar worker was suffering as much as others.

    11/16/16
    12:41 pm
    Lorraine said...

    If the elite hasn’t thought middle class workers were suffering, then they are hopelessly out-of-touch.

    The middle class is the majority. If they don’t have a clue what life is like for the majority, then something is wrong.

    Fully HALF THE POPULATION makes $30,000 or LESS. And you think elites don’t need to care.

    What do you think their lives are like, Lisa?

  • 11/13/16
    9:29 am

    Reply

    Carla said...

    Excellent piece Lisa, beautifully articulated and great fuel for thought. I also like your plan on how to react to the barbarians at the gate. I am Italian, living in the UK and married to a British man. I think I can understand how those who did not vote for Trump feel now, I have woken up on 24th June to Brexit and still can’t believe it is happening. However, people in US will have the opportunity to make different choices in 4 years’ time; here Brexit will be an irreversible process…

    11/13/16
    11:31 am
    Lisa said...

    @Carla, Thank you. And I feel for every single person affected by Brexit.

  • 11/13/16
    10:03 am

    Reply

    Sandra said...

    Please know that most of your neighbors to the north in Canada stand firmly in support and are aghast that a country in such close proximity could have so many folks who are willing to vote in a candidate who expressed such racist and sexist views. I did shed some tears on Wednesday morning and it’s not even my country. Everyone I talked to this week has felt the same gut wrenching disappointment. For our Democratic neighbors and for a world where this could happen.

    11/13/16
    11:32 am
    Lisa said...

    @Sandra, “for a world where this could happen.” So many of us feel this way, and yet so many find our grieving incomprehensible. A great divide.

  • 11/13/16
    10:21 am

    Reply

    Patricia said...

    Having enjoyed this blog for a long time—–I find that I seem to have found myself in the wrong “pew”. I may be the one and only reader who feels differently.

    11/13/16
    10:47 am
    Christine said...

    @Patricia, Hi, Patricia, you are not alone, and I take it for granted that the creators of my two favorite fashion blogs, Amid Privilege and Girl of a Certain age, are liberals. Both of them have great taste and are excellent writers, and bring more delight than all the current offerings of Hearst and Conde Nast.

    11/13/16
    11:08 am
    Lisa said...

    @Patricia, Christine is right. Many readers of this blog feel as you do. Going forward, I will not be posting anything political here. I’ll keep that for Medium and Twitter. I’ll stick with motherhood, style, and the raptures of living on Privilege. And Christine, thanks for the kind words. I’m honored to be included with Girls Of A Certain Age.

  • 11/13/16
    11:27 am

    Reply

    StellaA said...

    I am still grieving. My candidate has lost elections before and I’ve been able to accept the outcome. This time is different. Watch the interview on 60 minutes tonight and the president elect’s answer to his campaign rhetoric. That says it all.

    11/13/16
    2:34 pm
    Lisa said...

    @StellaA, This time does feel very different. I think I”ll just read the interview transcript and save myself from unproductive emotion:).

  • 11/13/16
    2:51 pm

    Reply

    Jane said...

    As a double minority, both Asian and a woman, I feel very vulnerable. I’ve been quiet here only because others have expressed so well what I have been thinking. Thank you for your blog and thank you to all the people have commented here. Knowing that there are good people in this country and elsewhere keeps me sane. It’s the other half that is frightening.

    11/16/16
    7:37 am
    Lisa said...

    @Jane, You are welcome. We will not be swayed.

  • 11/13/16
    2:52 pm

    Reply

    Tonia said...

    As an Australian I have been watching your election. (Let’s face it – the whole world has been watching!!)

    I feel like it is not really my place to comment on the result but what I will say is that I found the nastiness and implied aggression within the campaign process (especially the Trump campaign) to be amazing and unsettling. I can’t remember ever seeing that. We definitely have our share of conservative politicians and disagreements and at times they do get personal toward each other but not to that degree. I felt that little respect remained for the process.

    I hope your beautiful country weathers the upcoming storm with its associated divisions and upheaval.

    I loved your article Lisa.

    11/16/16
    7:38 am
    Lisa said...

    @Tonia, Thank you. The sheer permission for vitriol is having repercussions, as I feared.

  • 11/13/16
    3:59 pm

    Reply

    joannawnyc said...

    I cried. I cried a bunch of times. Students (muslim, minorities, immigrants) where I work (a 4-year public college) were crying. The vote felt like a giant F*** Y** to the peaceful, low-crime, multicultural, art-oriented, education-positive bubble that I live in, along with 12 million or so other people. My LGTBQ friends are terrified that Pence will end their marriages and take their kids away. Parents of biracial and LGBTQ kids and DAUGHTERS are afraid of what this means for their children.
    My father’s family is from the Midwest, although they were farmers, never factory workers, and have mostly educated themselves into a higher economic class, but I’ve heard a lot of the Trump side of things and just don’t see the justification. All I know is that people who were already suffering economically now fear for their lives.

  • 11/13/16
    9:01 pm

    Reply

    Alexandra Halsey said...

    Lisa, your post on Medium is excellent. I love how you think. Thank you.

  • 11/13/16
    9:01 pm

    Reply

    Hadilly said...

    I’m going to commmit to monthly donations to Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, and Natinal Resources Defense Council.

    I appreciated this post and your action plan.

  • 11/14/16
    7:53 am

    Reply

    Susan L said...

    I took a sick day on Wednesday. My head was foggy and I had an elephant on my chest. As a gay woman, I have been trying to wrap my head around my close relatives who voted for DT. Of the ones who will actually admit doing so, they try and justify themselves by saying it was specifically one issue or another. I feel that if the person was voted for, then the voter has to take the whole package. So while I’m told I’m loved and that they really weren’t voting against the nullification of my marriage…….. Well, they did. I recognize gaslighting. And I am so, so sad. From what I see of my younger gay friends, they are gearing up to keep fighting for rights which cannot be assumed present and they are vocally disillusioned with government and society. So much quiet disregard and hate have become visible. Yes, now I have an extra layer of being scared for my future.

    11/16/16
    3:48 am
    Lorraine said...

    @Susan L, Trump addressed gay rights at the Republican convention and said they are important. He also said that had not always been the case with Republicans, but he wanted to make it clear and he got applause.

    He also reminded everyone of that in his 60 Minutes interview.

    Does anyone report the facts?

    11/16/16
    7:00 am
    Susan L said...

    @Susan L, @Lorraine We shall see.

  • 11/14/16
    8:36 am

    Reply

    Wendy said...

    Lisa, This is a marvelous post that reflects and expands on several things I’ve felt. I too felt like 9/11, and shared the difference in agency you mention, but I missed the sense of tender caring among strangers that followed the WTC attacks.
    The fissures in the country seem so acute, and in part due to the sense we all bathe in our own “facts”. Both traditional media and social media are involved in amplifying and “curating” what we hear. I know heard ad infinitum of Donald Trump’s many failings, and the other side were subjected to constant descriptions of Clinton’s crimes. I do not believe they were equivalent – but even setting that aside, it is a world of two realities. How do we recover a sense of truth in media? Or a commonality in our democracy? I have no idea, and don’t know how we go forward.
    One last point – I have well-intentioned friends and acquaintances who supported the president-elect for various reasons including their intense distaste for HRC or opposition to abortion, while saying they did not support the appalling positions Trump took in various statements about people other than white men. OK – it is time for those supporters to step up and speak out! To hold the administration accountable, and to push back against the hateful speech now flowing. Otherwise it is tacit agreement.
    And yes – this calls for action on my own part too. Your blog is helping me think about how to do that. Thank you!

    11/16/16
    7:30 am
    Lisa said...

    @Wendy, Thank you. And, as you say, “OK – it is time for those supporters to step up and speak out! To hold the administration accountable, and to push back against the hateful speech now flowing. Otherwise it is tacit agreement.” One is racist or otherwise bigoted in action, in the end, more than intent.

  • 11/14/16
    4:23 pm

    Reply

    Sue said...

    If people are too fearful to speak up how can meaningful action be possible?

    In the first comment on this blog Susan D. said,as long as discussing political issues remains taboo nothing will change.

    Shakespeare said:

    “Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak knits up the o’erwrought heart and bids it break.”

    11/16/16
    7:30 am
    Lisa said...

    @Sue, Thank you for those words. It may in fact be time for poets.

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